Angel
Mengenangkan Perginya Anak Saya, Cyrus...Ke PenciptanyaCyrus
Meninggalnya Seorang Anak ...
Cyrus telah berpulang kepada PenciptaNya karena penyakit paru-paru pada hari Kamis, tanggal 28 Januari, 1999 ... dan telah dikebumikan di Taman Makam Jeruk Purut, Kavling 28 Blok II, Kemang, Jakarta, pada hari Jumat, 29 Januari, 1999.
Tidak banyak orang menyadari bahwa meninggalnya seorang anak tidak sesuai dengan keadaan NORMAL dan wajar yang  ditetapkan oleh Pencipta kita. Tidaklah alami. Tuhan tidak bermaksud seorang anak pulang terlebih dulu. Seorang anak mengubur orang tua. Bukan seorang tua mengubur anaknya.
Kebanyakan orang TIDAK mengalami penderitaan yang mendalam dan menghancurkan karena meninggalnya seorang anak. Dan saya sangat mengharapkan tidak ada seorang tua yang akan mengalami perginya seorang anaknya, karena seorang tua manapun tidak pantas menerima kehancuran dan penderitaan pada dirinya yang sangat mendalam ini.
Saya pernah mengalami meninggalnya seorang Adik kandung. Saya pernah merasakan penderitaan karena meninggalnya seorang Ibu, dan pernah merasakan meninggalnya seorang Ayah. Saya tahu bagaimana  rasanyanya karena saya pernah merasakan semua ini. Sangat menyakitkan memandang mereka, seorang Ibu yang pernah mengandung saya, dan seorang Bapak yang telah mengurus saya selama bertahun tahun, dan pada suatu ketika saya berdikari dan mengurus diri sendiri, dan pada suatu saat ... mereka tidak berdaya–dan tidak bernyawa di depan saya.

Minou, Ibunya Cyrus, melukiskan meninggalnya Ayahnya sebagai tusukan yang sangat mendalam, bagaikan sebutir peluru yang menusuk tubuhnya yang sangat mendalam. Meninggalnya Adik kandung, Ibu, dan Ayah saya, adalah seperti meninggalnya Ayahnya Minou, penderitaan yang mendalam ... dan sangat menyedihkan.  Kemudian pada suatu hari, penderitaan dan kesedihan ini sudah tidak ada lagi. Hanya tinggal kenang-kenangan yang manis, kenang kenangan apa yang telah kita berbuat secara bersama-sama sebagai keluarga.

Meninggalnya kita sebagai seorang tua pun akan menjadi seperti ini ... kebanyakan kenang kenangan yang manis yang telah kita alami bersama-sama, dan bahwa kita sebagai seorang tua dan sebagai keluarga, telah berbuat apa yang seharusnya kita telah berbuat sebagai seorang tua.

Kita sebagai seorang tua telah menjadi tua, dan kita telah menjalani kehidupan kita. Sekarang saatnya anak-anak kita yang menjalani kehidupan mereka, dan kita sebagai orang tuanya mengharapkan apa yang telah kita telah berbuat adalah sesuai dengan kehendak Tuhan.

Saat kita kembali kepada Pencipta kita, kita akan merasa bersedia saja ... karena kita telah menjalani kehidupan kita ... dan kita telah memenuhi kewajiban kita.

Meninggalnya Cyrus–meninggalnya seorang anak–adalah hilangnya sebuah harapan karena ia belum menjalani kehidupannya.

Cyrus 8½ yrsMeninggalnya seorang anak tidaklah sedalam sebutir peluru yang menusuk jantung kita, melainkan puluhan tusukan dari sebuah pisau. Sebuah tusukan di jantung, tusukan lagi di samping jantung, penusukan di perut, lagi di tengah dada, lagi di punggung, terus dan menerus tusukan ini masuk sampai tidak ada lagi tempat di tubuh kita untuk ditusuk. Pada tiap tusukan, sebagain dari harapan kita telah pergi. Harapan dan janji yang telah di nanti-nanti ... telah tidak ada, lenyap. Perasaan sakit ini sangat mendalam, dan rasa kehancuran ini tidak dapat dilukiskan dengan kata-kata apa pun.

Kehancuran, penderitaan dan kesedihan yang menyatu ini benar-benar tidak dapat dilukiskan ... dan seseorang tanpa anak – bahkan seorang tua pun – tidak akan merasakan kehancuran ini, sebelum mereka sendiri mengalami kehilangan seorang anaknya.

Makin lama seorang anak ikut dengan orang tuanya, makin mendalam penderitaannya dan kehancuran orang tuanya bila anak ini meninggal.

Meninggalnya seorang anak seperti Cyrus lebih menyakitkan karena Cyrus bukan seorang anak balita, atau seorang anak berusia 8 tahun seperti fotonya disebelah kiri; bahkan dia bukan seorang remaja yang belum matang yang meninggalnya akan menjadi lebih sakit bila dibandingkan saat ia baru seumur 8 tahun.

Cyrus 23½ yearsMeninggalnya Cyrus lebih menghancurkan karena pada usia 25 tahun, kita dapat berbicara dengannya; dapat bertukar pandangan dan pendapat karena ia bukanlah seorang anak bayi. Bahkan ia dapat memberikan advis dan pengalaman hidupnya yang kita sebagai orang tua tidak pernah mengalaminya yang ia pernah mengalami.

Ia adalah seorang dewasa muda seumur 25 tahun. Tapi di mata kita ia tetap seorang bayi kita, karena seorang anak berapa pun usianya, di mata orang tuanya masih tetap seorang balita, bagian dari kita, tapi berdiri sendiri, dengan pandangan sendiri, tetapi tetap bagian dari diri kita.

Kita memandangnya dan melihat pada dirinya sebuah kesan dari diri kita yang kita bisa ajak bicara, yang kita bisa tukar pandangan, dan melakukan hal-hal yang merupakan bagian dari kehidupan kita bersama. Semua harapan yang telah ia tunjukkan kepada kita saat ia berkembang, saat ia menjadi dewasa, semua telah tidak ada, lenyap begitu saja.

Kita memandangnya, melihat kemampuan mentalnya, melihat atribut kejantanannya sebagai seorang laki yang tampang, dan kita bangga atas dirinya walau ada kekurangan dan kesalahan yang ia telah buat. Dan sebagai orang tuanya, kita selalu mengampuni kesalahanya saat ia masih hidup. Kini saat ia tidak ada lagi, kita tidak ingat lagi kekurangannya. Melainkan ingat kepada kesalahan-kesalahan yang kita telah berbuat kepadanya.

Kita yang melihat kepergiannya di depan mata kita, dan kita yang merasakan kepergiannya pada saat tangannya melemas saat dipegang Ibunya pada saat kita sedang berbicara dan ketawa dengannya, semua yang kita alami ini telah menghancurkan kita sampai tidak ada kata-kata yang dapat melukiskan penderitaan ini yang kita rasakan, karena ia telah tidak ada lagi.

Lenyaplah, semuanya yang kita sebagai keluarga dapat melakukan bersama-sama dengannya. Lenyaplah semuanya yang Cyrus dapat berbuat, semua keberhasilan yang Cyrus dapat berikan kepada kita sebagai keluarganya, untuk Ibunya, untuk Ayahnya, dan kakak-kakaknya, dan yang lebih berharga lagi bagi dirinya sendiri.

Saya tidak akan mengharapkan – dan saya ulangi lagi – tidak mengharapkan penderitaan dan kehancuran yang mendalam ini kepada musuh saya, kalau memang saya punya musuh, karena kata-kata “kehancuran” dan “penderitaan” tidak ada artinya ... sama sekali tidak ada artinya ... sebelum seseorang mengalami meninggalnya seorang anaknya sendiri.

Walau mereka yang ditinggalkan Cyrus menyadari ia adalah milik Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa, dan Tuhan telah mengambilnya kembali, kesadaran bahwa kita, sebagai orang tuanya, mungkin tidak mengurusnya dengan baik adalah pikiran yang menghantuhi kita. Pikiran ini melukiskan kegagalan kita kepada Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa, kegagalan kepada Cyrus, dan kepada diri kita sendiri, khususnya kegagalan saya sebagai Ayahnya yang menghancurkan diri saya.

Bayangkan bila anak-mu meninggalkan-mu dan berpulang kepada Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa sebelum ia memenuhi kehidupannya, seperti anak kami. Membayangkan hilangnya seorang anak – dan untunglah ini hanya bayangan saja – akan membangunkan kesadaran bagi seorang tua untuk lebih menghargai eksitensi anaknya ... untuk lebih mengampuni seorang anak, dan untuk lebih memperlihatkan cinta seorang tua secara terbuka kepada anaknya. Membayangkan adalah baik bagi arwah mu, sebelum – semoga Tuhan tidak akan terjadi – Yang Maha Kuasa mengambil anak mu, seperti Tuhan mengambil anak saya.

Membayangkan ini akan membuat seorang tua lebih berterima kasih kepada Penciptanya untuk benar-benar lebih menyayangi anaknya dari segala-galanyanya di bumi ini.

Sayangilah, anak-mu.

Kalau tidak, Tuhan akan mengambil anak-mu, dan kamu akan merasakan kehancuran dan kegagalan kepada anak mu, kegagalan kepada diri mu sendiri, dan rasa tusukan-tusukan ke dalam tubuh mu yang tidak ada henti-hentinya dan terus menurus manyakiti mu dan tak akan terlupakan sampai kamu masuk ke dalam kuburan mu.

bar flower
Kisah Lain Mengenai Cyrus
When Cyrus was still alive ...(Saat Cyrus Masih Hidup)
No One can feel the pain, unless one is a parent... (PenderitaanTidak Akan Dirasakan Sebelum Seorang Menjadi Orang Tua)A Letter from John..Tell me About Cyrus..What ailed him...(Sebuah surat dari John...Ceritakanlan Mengenai Cyrus...Apa Yang ia derita)
He Was Ill & Asked For His Parents’ Forgiveness...(Saat Ia Sakit Ia Meminta Maaf Kepada Orang Tuanya)
The Hour He Passed Away ...(Saatnya Ia Meninggal Dunia)
We are Grateful that we were at Cyrus’ Bedside...(Kita Berterima Kasih kita di sampingnya saat ia meninggal)I Have Never Heard Him Swear...A Nice Guy...(Saya tidak pernah mendengar mengucapkan kata-kata kasar)
A Deja Vu Feeling of Failure...(Perasaan pernah menjalani kegagalan terhadap anak saya)
The World  Has Lost A Business Genius...(Dunia telah kehilangan seorang tokoh genius dunia bisnis)
The Miracle of his Smile After Passing Away...(Keajaiban yang menakjubkan dari senyumnya yang wujud setelah ia meninggal)My heart breaks for you...(Saya ikut hancur untuk mu)
God said: “I’ll lend you my Child ...” (Tuhan mengatakan: “Saya pinjamkan Anak Ku untuk mu")

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“ ..success stories!”  Living in Indonesia - A site for expats  –  one of the largest web sites for Expats living in the vast and sprawling Indonesian nation, the world's 4th. largest populated nation.. click here for more infoIt's great to have real life examples of all the things we're talking about ... Especially the ‘success stories’ of the kids** of these (mixed) marriages ...Your sites are very interesting and offer valuable insight to many ... good luck with them all!! ... All the best”  ... Danielle Sukarty, Organizing Committee, Living in Indonesia - A site for expats  •  **Laila 35 years the smart Environment & City Planning Engineer  & **Arto 34 years, the Diplomat
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“ ..Everything I wish I could articulate  myself.. ”  I visited (this) webpage and found it to be everything I wish I could articulate myself ... although I know what a heart wrenching task it must have been to put it in words, I am grateful to you for what you have done ... ” Teresa, Arkansas, U.S.A. (a bereaved parent who commemorates her daughter's passing away by inviting other bereaved parents to commemorate their loved one on her website)
“I've found a shelter in a storm.. ” How amazingly wonderful your site is! My son Karl died on 2/21/01. He was 18. I miss him IMMENSELY! Hugs to you and your beautiful wife. Thank you so much for sharing your hearts. I especially Love seeing photo's of your beautiful son Cyrus. I'm saving your web pages and plan to read EVERY word... It's so wonderful you have such an important and extensive site for human beings in such pain and need. Know that today, thank's be to God and You, I've found a shelter in a storm. GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR WIFE AND DEAR CYRUS!!!”  Colleen McCurdy, 25 Mar. ’01 |
What other folks had to say... | The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents–from the bereaved's perspectives|| After-Death Communications is Real – The Miracle of the Fan | “Our Son in the other dimension”
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“ ..it brought tears in my eyes.. ” I am so sorry about the loss of your son Cyrus. I have read the story that you wrote in the page. I cannot imagine the trauma that you and your wife had to go thru, it brought tears in my eyes at the middle of the story what you must have gone thru. How sad it must had been. We too had our sorrows and had to go thru the valley of the unknown hurts of life... Gustaaf Vogelsang 8 August, 2001
What a bereaved Mom & Dad have to say ...
“ ..losing a child is far more devastating.. ” Losing an offspring like our 25 year old, Cyrus, is a devastation NO parent will ever know, unless ONE EXPERIENCES it. It is far more devastating than losing one's own parents and brothers and sisters – which we had experienced and had gone through several times. More so when this child was a living doll, then no longer a child, became an adult and then a friend, a trusted buddy who can instead give advice, and whom we can share experiences with . On Jan. 28, 1999 when he passed away, and 2½ years later on Aug. 7th. 2001, our voices still break up and tears welled up in his mother's eyes , when a friend who did not know Cyrus was no longer with us, asked “...and how is Cyrus..?” || The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives
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 *Cyrus our youngest passed away on the 28th. of January 1999 at the age of 25. The family is mourning his passing away. See what God says about our children ...
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