These pages were created to be viewed with browsers using a screen setting of 800x600 pixels and text size of "smaller" in IE browsers. See bottom page• 28th. January, 2000
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How does it feel getting old? 
Old is a figure of speech. You behave like an oldster, you become old. If your attitude is like when you were younger, you will remain young. This is the story of our lives when as youngsters aged 22 and 23, 36 years ago we started our family; gone through happy and sad times, including the devastation of losing our youngest, our beloved son and friend of 25 years of age on 
January 28th. 1999.
The conclusion:
What is all this for? There must be reasons?



A secret true life James Bond family adventure

For the Full Story - Click the Underline
  • A Javanese Prince who married an Iranian Princess
  • Raden Roro Laila smart woman environment engineer
  • Raden Arto, Javanese prince, diplomat...& his family
  • Raden Mas Suryo-di-Puro, senior diplomat (Granddad)
  • Javanese Weddings reflect parents lifetime roles
  • A King immune from bullets and cannons
  • Some of the Iranian Family & Friends
  • Hobbies for Bikers (1,000cc+) sports & cruisers
  • Indonesia World's 4th largest country
  • List of International Schools

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     Cyrus' Memory
    Cyrus Heartland Memorial
    Letter Animation
    suryo@suryo.net

    The writer is a Member of
    The HTML Writers Guild
    and a former journalist & editor with the AFP & Antara News Agencies in London, Paris, & Koln in the mid-'60s






     
    I looked at your site (it was excellent) ... I hope you continue to design your great site and continue your road map!*   Have a good day.”
    Bryan Butakis
    *Road map is a reference on real-life experience, the "how-to" of handling the devastation and bereavement of losing one's child.
    See also: Some Great Things About Getting Old

    Grandparenting from the Life-Connection Website with Music Tracks

    Commentary by R. Adji Suryo-di-Puro – Father since 1965 & Grandparent since 1995. Jakarta, 28th. January, 2000 
    For fellow elders whose spirit are young and have life left in them, click here for music that reflects your youthful spirit²Or this one for a little bit slower one ² • Or an After Midnight?º¹**And All of MeThe cool island of Moorea³** How about your Days of Wine & Roses. We all had them?Click here if the first one was not fast enough³
    Please click this line for Cyrus' other 30-plus music tracks that he and I used to play and accompany on CDs & tape* • ¹MIDI music from Bourbon Street & ²From MidiWorld³Sequenced (played & arranged) by Devian, a 30-year Indonesian graduate from the Berkeley School of Music & used with permission • º Sequenced by Jan Halsema & used with permission • *Wherever possible and available permission was requested from their composers. ** Used with permission. All music tracks are available for non-commercial use. About grandparenting: Grand Parents do not spoil their grandchildren.
    Laila-32Baby-LailaGrandchildren’s parents (our sons and daughters) accuse us parents of spoiling their children. But the reality is grandparents have learnt many things after going through the University of Life parenting their own children.

    When grandchildren enter into their lives, these lifetime lessons come into play naturally, without any forethought or consciousness. (Baby Laila 3 years and 35 years later as an internationally-experienced environment engineer, and former project officer head at the U.S. Government’s U.S.A.I.D. environment project. Her page is at "The smart young woman environmen & city planning engineer").

    Disciplining grandchildren ...

    Assuming everything being “normal” (grandchildren with parents), and assuming the majority of grandparents are like ourselves described herein, grandparents like ourselves should let their sons/daughter assume the responsibility of disciplining their children. If the grandparents do not like the way their grandchild is disciplined, it comes with the territory. Remember the old days when you were disciplining your children ... would you, or did you, like your parents telling you what to do with your children?

    For example: a grandchild breaks a crystal vase costing US$ 1,000. The grandparent, although disappointed, will not scold the grandchild and thinks to himself it was his own fault for not putting it away. Naturally, the grandparent will tell the grandchild that next time, they should not play with things that do not belong to them. Besides, that $1,000 vase is nothing compared to mentally hurting their grandchild ... for instance, a grandparent who is “always” angry about something, and because of this the grandchild assumes the grandparent doesn’t like him. Good grandparents realize that the littlest thing, both negative and positive, will stay with their grandchildren throughout their lives. 

    Good grandparents do not want to contribute to any hangups their grandchildren may have in the future. Unfortunately, there are bad grandparents, as there are bad parents. 

    A grandparent should behave as if s/he is an entity that can do no wrong – is above taking sides, and is therefore the final authority in the event there is a dispute between the grandchild and his parents. This ideal is difficult to achieve, but a good grandparent should strive to be this entity. 

    Above all, don’t let your grandchildren (in fact, even our own young children) go outside the family circle for advice, that is, what “other people” say is better than what his own family says. As long as the grandparent strives to be an accepted final authority – and acceptance is in the eyes of your grandchild, not yours – your grandchild will always look up to you as the ideal grandparent you deserve to be.

    Parenting ...

    Baby ArtoArto-33Another example: many times parents are short with their little children because of many things in their minds – jobs on the line, failed promotions, failed businesses, and 1001 other different reasons. When you are in a bad mood and your child is cranky, fussy about not eating his/her dinner, and about something or other,  pay attention and ask “what’s the matter?”. If your child cannot articulate him/herself, remember that once upon a time you were like that little child, and your parents had to put with this “nuisance”, too. 

    Remember that whatever problem you are facing, they are not the cause of it, and they are not your enemy. They are there because you brought them into this world.

    (Baby Arto & 34 years later as an about, well-travelled diplomat and father of two boys. Until June 2000 was a diplomat at the United Nations, New York. Takes after his Grand Dad [deceased], a founder of the Indonesian Foreign Office [that's the State Department for Americans], a good representative of Indonesia's present generation of some 160 million young people under the age of 30 years – from a total population of 215 million people, the world’s 4th. largest nation after the U.S. – who was promoted 3 times in 4 years which normally takes 12 years to achieve. Click here for his page).Dad, Cyrus with bike

    Children have feelings ...

    Children, whether 1 year old babies or teenagers have feelings. This also means that you should not loose your temper. You should not raise your voice in private, and especially not in public. You can do that when they are teenagers, especially when they should know better. 

    Even though they are babies, they understand how it is to be scolded in front of strangers and it's not good for their self-esteem. Babies and small children have their self-esteem, like you as an adult have yours. (18-year old Cyrus scowling after Dad told him off about riding "dangerously" on the 147 HP, 1,100 c.c., 0-100mph/ 0-160 kph in 6.3 sec. 200 mph-capable Kawasaki Ninja ZZR, the Lamborghini and Ferrari of sport bikes. Even though Dad later on discovered that Cyrus outmanuevered and ‘beat’ a California school-trained motorbike racer on one of West Java’s mountainous Swiss-like roads, it was a big mistake telling him off in front of other big bikers. Dads make mistakes, too. Click here what that motor-bike racer recounted to his Dad.).

    And remember ...

    Never underestimate the intelligence of your children, and never think you always know more than they do about everything. Remember, they are a combination of yourselves, and most likely a better combination of either one parent. 

    Cyrus 1.5yrsCyrus 23You will be surprised if they may know about certain things you yourself did not know about. It is a good idea to listen to them once in awhile, instead of telling them all the time what to do. You never know they may reveal some unknown insight to you. 

    If what they know may be misinterpreted, or be misconstrued by them, this is where you come in as a parent and guardian in putting their misconceptions back on track. 

    Talk to them just as if you were talking to your buddies because you will be surprised what you can learn from them ... and they can be your real buddies. 12 year old Cyrus - cyrus2ss.jpg

    Even after 35 years of parenting, and now grandparenting, we are still learning.

    (Baby Cyrus, top left at 23 and a buddy to his parents. Read about him by clicking the underline, and read how we lost our buddy at the age of 25 years on January 28th., 1999. We realized then that our Cyrus – or any of our children – did not really belong to us when God said to us in a poem,“I'll lend you my Child for awhile...”.   Read also about our true-life experiences on How to handle Bereaved Parents – the Do's & Don'ts. The Many Experiences We Had With Him during the first year after Cyrus’ departure – and  how after we lost him, we are convinced more than ever there is an after-life. Cyrus, right photo 12 years old, opening Dad’s birthday presents).

    How you treat your children while they are still your responsibility will come back to you when you are old. They are helpless now, but they will not be later on. You may be king of the hill now, but you won't be the king later on. 

    What goes around comes around.

    p.s. Visualize these photos as if they were your own children.


    Music: In Memory of all our good old days, our Days of Wine and Roses

    Pause / turn off music (right click mouse above & make your selection) - 3.41 minutes
    Change music to Jazz | Change to fusion³ or to mood (the cool Island of Moorea)³| Girl From Ipanema | Springtime| Blue Moon| Jazz 1 | ³All Blues ³By Devian.
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    What other world wide web Sites have to say about these Life-Connection Webpages
    www.iGrandparents.com  – the web's largest site on grandparenting:I looked at your site (it was excellent) ... I hope you continue to design your great site and continue your road map!* Have a good day.”  ... Bryan Butakis  www.iGrandparents.com *Road map is a reference on real-life experience, the "how-to" of handling the devastation and bereavement of losing one's child, and the psychic and physicalAfter Death Communications” found in several webpages at www.suryo.net.
    Living in Indonesia - A site for expats – one of the largest web sites for Expats living in Indonesia, the world’s 4th. largest nation
    “... success stories!”  It's great to have real life examples of all the things we're talking about ...  Especially the ‘success stories’ of the kids** of these (mixed) marriages ...Your sites are very interesting and offer valuable insight to many ... good luck with them all!! ... All the best”  ... Danielle Sukarty, Organizing Committee, Living in Indonesia - A site for expats  •  **Laila 35 years the smart Environment & City Planning Engineer  & **Arto 34 years, the Diplomat
    What other Moms had to say ...
    “...I visited (this) webpage and found it to be everything I wish I could articulate myself ... although I know what a heart wrenching task it must have been to put it in words, I am grateful to you for what you have done ... ” Teresa, Arkansas, U.S.A. (a bereaved parent) 
    “I've found a shelter in a storm...” How amazingly wonderful your site is! My son Karl died on 2/21/01. He was 18. I miss him IMMENSELY! Hugs to you and your beautiful wife. Thank you so much for sharing your hearts. I especially Love seeing photo's of your beautiful son Cyrus. I'm saving your web pages and plan to read EVERY word... It's so wonderful you have such an important and extensive site for human beings in such pain and need. Know that today, thank's be to God and You, I've found a shelter in a storm. GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR WIFE AND DEAR CYRUS!!!”  Colleen McCurdy, 25 Mar. ’01 |
    What other folks had to say... | The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents–from the bereaved's perspectives| After-Death Communications is Real – The Miracle of the Fan | “Our Son in the other dimension”
    Email What other Moms had to say ...  to a Friend? ... click here
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    Start life with someone you can spend hours talking – about anything. Physical attributes come second .... 
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    suryo@suryo.net
     
    The  Life-Connection  Website Site Map
    A La Carte - the Menu
    A Javanese Prince who married an Iranian Princess - A James Bond True-Life Story
    Raden Roro Laila - The Smart Woman Environment Engineer
    Raden Arto, Javanese prince The Diplomat...& his family
    Raden Cyrus Agung ... 9 Nov. 1973–28 Jan. 1999* & remembering his favorite music kind of music
     – An Eulogy to a departed Son
       – In Bahasa Indonesia
     – A poem: God said: "I'll lend you my Child..."
     –  A friend Asks: Tell me about Cyrus?
     – Friends say: My Heart Breaks for you
     – In memory of Cyrus' 1st. Anniversary in the Other DimensionMusic Page–28 January, 2000
     – The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives
     – Published Reference List on the After-Life, Near Death Experiences & After-Death Communications
     – What Do the Other Dimensions & “After Death Communications” Convey?
     – After-Death Communications is Real - The Miracle of the Fan 26 Aug., 1999 - continued ...
        ... The One-Legged Grasshopper • The Air Conditioning System • The Exploding Light Bulb
     – A Prayer for our Son & all other departed children
     – Trying to understand the pain when someone we love leaves us 21 April 2001
    Raden Mas Suryo-di-Puro, senior diplomat (Granddad)
    Javanese Weddings reflect parents lifetime roles
    A King immune from bullets and cannons ...
    Some of the Iranian Family & Friends ...
    Hobbies...for Bikers (1,000cc+) sports & cruisers
    Indonesia's 215 Million World's 4th largest country...
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    Jakarta's 20 million ... one of the world's 5 largest city
    Why Do We Have Different Beliefs? Because of Conditioning?
    Some Great Things About Becoming Old
    Grandparenting
    Are you a Persian?
    If I had My Life To Live Over Again
    The writer is a Member of
    The HTML Writers Guild
    and a former English language journalist & editor with the AFP French National news agency & Antara Indonesian News Agency in London, Paris, & Koln in the mid-'60s
    Email this page to a Friend? ... click here  
     The beige background of the menu on the left comes from the "batik" motif or "bahan titik", an acronym  which means material made from dots, the process of making handmade batik cloth.
    In Cyrus' Memory
    Cyrus Heartland Memorial

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    Cyrus banner by Daisy Logo
    Letter Animation
    suryo@suryo.net


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    Animated Cyrus child banner. God said: ‘I’ll lend you my Child’.
     *Cyrus our youngest passed away on the 28th. of January 1999 at the age of 25. The family is mourning his passing away. See what God says about our children ...
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