These pages were created to be viewed with browsers using a screen setting of 800x600 pixels and text size of "smaller" in IE browsers. See bottom page• 28th. January, 2000
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How does it feel getting old? 
Old is a figure of speech. You behave like an oldster, you become old. If your attitude is like when you were younger, you will remain young. This is the story of our lives when as youngsters aged 22 and 23, 36 years ago we started our family; gone through happy and sad times, including the devastation of losing our youngest, our beloved son and friend of 25 years of age on 
January 28th. 1999.
The conclusion:
What is all this for? There must be reasons?

A secret true life James Bond family adventure

For the Full Story - Click the Underline
  • A Javanese Prince who married an Iranian Princess
  • Raden Roro Laila smart woman environment engineer
  • Raden Arto, Javanese prince, diplomat...& his family
  • Raden Mas Suryo-di-Puro, senior diplomat (Granddad)
  • Javanese Weddings reflect parents lifetime roles
  • A King immune from bullets and cannons
  • Some of the Iranian Family & Friends
  • Hobbies for Bikers (1,000cc+) sports & cruisers
  • Indonesia World's 4th largest country
  • List of International Schools



     Cyrus' Memory
    Cyrus Heartland Memorial
    Letter Animation

    The writer is a Member of
    The HTML Writers Guild

    and a former journalist & editor with the AFP & Antara News Agencies in London, Paris, & Koln in the mid-'60s

    I looked at your site (it was excellent) ... I hope you continue to design your great site and continue your road map!*   Have a good day.”
    Bryan Butakis
    *Road map is a reference on real-life experience, the "how-to" of handling the devastation and bereavement of losing one's child.
    See also: Some Great Things About Getting Old

    Grandparenting from the Life-Connection Website with Music Tracks

    Commentary by R. Adji Suryo-di-Puro – Father since 1965 & Grandparent since 1995. Jakarta, 28th. January, 2000 • Please click this line for Cyrus' other 30-plus music tracks that he and I used to play and accompany on CDs & tape* • ¹MIDI music from Bourbon Street & ²From MidiWorld³Sequenced (played & arranged) by Devian, a 30-year Indonesian graduate from the Berkeley School of Music & used with permission • º Sequenced by Jan Halsema & used with permission • *Wherever possible and available permission was requested from their composers. ** Used with permission. All music tracks are available for non-commercial use. About grandparenting: Grand Parents do not spoil their grandchildren.
    Laila-32Baby-LailaGrandchildren’s parents (our sons and daughters) accuse us parents of spoiling their children. But the reality is grandparents have learnt many things after going through the University of Life parenting their own children.

    When grandchildren enter into their lives, these lifetime lessons come into play naturally, without any forethought or consciousness. (Baby Laila 3 years and 35 years later as an internationally-experienced environment engineer, and former project officer head at the U.S. Government’s U.S.A.I.D. environment project. Her page is at "The smart young woman environmen & city planning engineer").

    Disciplining grandchildren ...

    Assuming everything being “normal” (grandchildren with parents), and assuming the majority of grandparents are like ourselves described herein, grandparents like ourselves should let their sons/daughter assume the responsibility of disciplining their children. If the grandparents do not like the way their grandchild is disciplined, it comes with the territory. Remember the old days when you were disciplining your children ... would you, or did you, like your parents telling you what to do with your children?

    For example: a grandchild breaks a crystal vase costing US$ 1,000. The grandparent, although disappointed, will not scold the grandchild and thinks to himself it was his own fault for not putting it away. Naturally, the grandparent will tell the grandchild that next time, they should not play with things that do not belong to them. Besides, that $1,000 vase is nothing compared to mentally hurting their grandchild ... for instance, a grandparent who is “always” angry about something, and because of this the grandchild assumes the grandparent doesn’t like him. Good grandparents realize that the littlest thing, both negative and positive, will stay with their grandchildren throughout their lives. 

    Good grandparents do not want to contribute to any hangups their grandchildren may have in the future. Unfortunately, there are bad grandparents, as there are bad parents. 

    A grandparent should behave as if s/he is an entity that can do no wrong – is above taking sides, and is therefore the final authority in the event there is a dispute between the grandchild and his parents. This ideal is difficult to achieve, but a good grandparent should strive to be this entity. 

    Above all, don’t let your grandchildren (in fact, even our own young children) go outside the family circle for advice, that is, what “other people” say is better than what his own family says. As long as the grandparent strives to be an accepted final authority – and acceptance is in the eyes of your grandchild, not yours – your grandchild will always look up to you as the ideal grandparent you deserve to be.

    Parenting ...

    Baby ArtoArto-33Another example: many times parents are short with their little children because of many things in their minds – jobs on the line, failed promotions, failed businesses, and 1001 other different reasons. When you are in a bad mood and your child is cranky, fussy about not eating his/her dinner, and about something or other,  pay attention and ask “what’s the matter?”. If your child cannot articulate him/herself, remember that once upon a time you were like that little child, and your parents had to put with this “nuisance”, too.

    Remember that whatever problem you are facing, they are not the cause of it, and they are not your enemy. They are there because you brought them into this world.

    (Baby Arto & 34 years later as an about, well-travelled diplomat and father of two boys. Until June 2000 was a diplomat at the United Nations, New York. Takes after his Grand Dad [deceased], a founder of the Indonesian Foreign Office [that's the State Department for Americans], a good representative of Indonesia's present generation of some 160 million young people under the age of 30 years – from a total population of 215 million people, the world’s 4th. largest nation after the U.S. – who was promoted 3 times in 4 years which normally takes 12 years to achieve. Click here for his page).Dad, Cyrus with bike

    Children have feelings ...

    Children, whether 1 year old babies or teenagers have feelings. This also means that you should not loose your temper. You should not raise your voice in private, and especially not in public. You can do that when they are teenagers, especially when they should know better. 

    Even though they are babies, they understand how it is to be scolded in front of strangers and it's not good for their self-esteem. Babies and small children have their self-esteem, like you as an adult have yours. (18-year old Cyrus scowling after Dad told him off about riding "dangerously" on the 157 HP, 1,100 c.c., 0-100mph/0-160 kph in 6.3 sec. 200 mph-capable Kawasaki Ninja ZZR, the Lamborghini and Ferrari of sport bikes. Even though Dad later on discovered that Cyrus outmanuevered and ‘ beat’ a California school-trained motorbike racer on one of West Java’s mountainous Swiss-like roads, it was a big mistake telling him off in front of other big bikers. Dads make mistakes, too. Click here what that motor-bike racer recounted to his Dad.).

    And remember ...

    Never underestimate the intelligence of your children, and never think you always know more than they do about everything. Remember, they are a combination of yourselves, and most likely a better combination of either one parent. 

    Cyrus 1.5yrsCyrus 23You will be surprised if they may know about certain things you yourself did not know about. It is a good idea to listen to them once in awhile, instead of telling them all the time what to do. You never know they may reveal some unknown insight to you. 

    If what they know may be misinterpreted, or be misconstrued by them, this is where you come in as a parent and guardian in putting their misconceptions back on track. 

    Talk to them just as if you were talking to your buddies because you will be surprised what you can learn from them ... and they can be your real buddies. 12 year old Cyrus - cyrus2ss.jpg

    Even after 36 years of parenting, and now grandparenting, we are still learning.

    (Baby Cyrus, top left at 23 and a buddy to his parents. Read about him by clicking the underline, and read how we lost our buddy at the age of 25 years on January 28th., 1999. We realized then that our Cyrus – or any of our children – did not really belong to us when God said to us in a poem,“I'll lend you my Child for awhile...”.   Read also about our true-life experiences on How to handle Bereaved Parents – the Do's & Don'ts. The Many Experiences We Had With Him during the first year after Cyrus’ departure – and  how after we lost him, we are convinced more than ever there is an after-life. Cyrus, right photo 12 years old, opening Dad’s birthday presents).

    How you treat your children while they are still your responsibility will come back to you when you are old. They are helpless now, but they will not be later on. You may be king of the hill now, but you won't be the king later on. 

    What goes around comes around.

    p.s. Visualize these photos as if they were your own children.

    The other stories: The former (James Bond) Field Operative and his girl as parentsNow GrandparentingThe Smart Women Environment & City Planning EngineerThe DiplomatThe Businessman whom God said to us "I'll Lend you My Child for awhile..." - There is an afterlife: Our 1st. year experience - Our Son's smile 18 hours after crossing to the other dimension - The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives - A Road Map for the Bereaved – from the bereaved’s perspectives •  More stories
    “Did you know that Indonesia ...”
    Click on the sunset photo

    Did you know that Bali is the “Island of the gods...”
    Click on the other photo
     Planning an overland  trip to Bali? Tell your friends

    Music: In Memory of all our good old days, our Days of Wine and Roses

    Pause / turn off music (right click mouse above & make your selection) - 3.41 minutes
    Change music to Jazz | Change to fusion³ or to mood (the cool Island of Moorea)³| Girl From Ipanema | Springtime| Blue Moon| Jazz 1 | ³All Blues ³By Devian.
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    Meet the other family gif
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    What other world wide web Sites have to say about these Life-Connection Webpages
    “ ..I hope you continue your road map.. ”  –  the web's largest site on grandparenting:I looked at your site (it was excellent) ... I hope you continue to design your great site and continue your road map!* Have a good day.”  ... Bryan Butakis *Road map is a reference on real-life experience, the "how-to" of handling the devastation and bereavement of losing one's child, and the psychic and physicalAfter Death Communications” found in several webpages at the site map.
    “ ..success stories!”  Living in Indonesia - A site for expats  –  one of the largest web sites for Expats living in the vast and sprawling Indonesian nation, the world's 4th. largest populated nation.. click here for more infoIt's great to have real life examples of all the things we're talking about ... Especially the ‘success stories’ of the kids** of these (mixed) marriages ...Your sites are very interesting and offer valuable insight to many ... good luck with them all!! ... All the best”  ... Danielle Sukarty, Organizing Committee, Living in Indonesia - A site for expats  •  **Laila 35 years the smart Environment & City Planning Engineer  & **Arto 34 years, the Diplomat
    What other Moms had to say ...
    “ ..Everything I wish I could articulate  myself.. ”  I visited (this) webpage and found it to be everything I wish I could articulate myself ... although I know what a heart wrenching task it must have been to put it in words, I am grateful to you for what you have done ... ” Teresa, Arkansas, U.S.A. (a bereaved parent who commemorates her daughter's passing away by inviting other bereaved parents to commemorate their loved one on her website)
    “I've found a shelter in a storm.. ” How amazingly wonderful your site is! My son Karl died on 2/21/01. He was 18. I miss him IMMENSELY! Hugs to you and your beautiful wife. Thank you so much for sharing your hearts. I especially Love seeing photo's of your beautiful son Cyrus. I'm saving your web pages and plan to read EVERY word... It's so wonderful you have such an important and extensive site for human beings in such pain and need. Know that today, thank's be to God and You, I've found a shelter in a storm. GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR WIFE AND DEAR CYRUS!!!”  Colleen McCurdy, 25 Mar. ’01 |
    What other folks had to say... | The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents–from the bereaved's perspectives|| After-Death Communications is Real – The Miracle of the Fan | “Our Son in the other dimension”
    What a Dad had to say ...
    “ brought tears in my eyes.. ” I am so sorry about the loss of your son Cyrus. I have read the story that you wrote in the page. I cannot imagine the trauma that you and your wife had to go thru, it brought tears in my eyes at the middle of the story what you must have gone thru. How sad it must had been. We too had our sorrows and had to go thru the valley of the unknown hurts of life... Gustaaf Vogelsang 8 August, 2001
    What a bereaved Mom & Dad have to say ...
    “ ..losing a child is far more devastating.. ” Losing an offspring like our 25 year old, Cyrus, is a devastation NO parent will ever know, unless ONE EXPERIENCES it. It is far more devastating than losing one's own parents and brothers and sisters – which we had experienced and had gone through several times. More so when this child was a living doll, then no longer a child, became an adult and then a friend, a trusted buddy who can instead give advice, and whom we can share experiences with . On Jan. 28, 1999 when he passed away, and 2½ years later on Aug. 7th. 2001, our voices still break up and tears welled up in his mother's eyes , when a friend who did not know Cyrus was no longer with us, asked “...and how is Cyrus..?” || The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives
    –  Click the underlined above for the different stories and experiences  –
    Email What other Moms & Dad had to say ...  to a Friend? ... click here
    Yahoo Profile A. Suryo-di-Puro | Bahasa Indonesia
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    A Javanese Prince who married an Iranian Princess - A James Bond True-Life Story
    Raden Roro Laila - The Smart Woman Environment Engineer
    Raden Arto, Javanese prince The Diplomat...& his family
    Raden Cyrus Agung ... 9 Nov. 1973–28 Jan. 1999* & remembering his favorite kind of music
    An Eulogy to a departed Son
       – In Bahasa Indonesia
    A poem: God said: "I'll lend you my Child..."
    –  A friend Asks: Tell me about Cyrus?
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    In memory of Cyrus' 1st. Anniversary in the Other Dimension Music Page–28 January, 2000
    The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives
    Published Reference List on the After-Life, Near Death Experiences & After-Death Communications
    What Do the Other Dimensions & “After Death Communications” Convey?
    After-Death Communications is Real - The Miracle of the Fan 26 Aug., 1999 - continued ...
        ... The One-Legged Grasshopper • The Air Conditioning System • The Exploding Light Bulb
     – A Prayer for our Son & all other departed children
    Raden Mas Suryo-di-Puro, senior diplomat (Granddad)
    Javanese Weddings reflect parents lifetime roles
    A King immune from bullets and cannons ...
    Some of the Iranian Family & Friends ...
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    Why Do We Have Different Beliefs? Because of Conditioning?
    Some Great Things About Becoming Old
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    The World Is Full of Sons and Daughters Like Me
    The writer is a Member of
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    and a former English language journalist & editor with the AFP French National news agency & Antara Indonesian News Agencies in London, Paris, & Koln in the mid-'60s
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     The beige background of the menu on the left comes from the "batik" motif or "bahan titik", an acronym  which means material made from dots, the process of making handmade batik cloth.
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    Animated Cyrus child banner. God said: ‘I’ll lend you my Child’.
     *Cyrus our youngest passed away on the 28th. of January 1999 at the age of 25. The family is mourning his passing away. See what God says about our children ...
    A secret true life James Bond family adventure
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    MIDI, or musical instrument digital interface, is a standard used by sound-card makers and musical instrument manufacturers to let various electronic instruments and sound processors talk to each other. Because MIDI sound samples and synthesis algorithms are stored on the local system (either in your sound card, the PC's processor, or in an external MIDI module), all that needs to be sent over the wire is a series of signals that say what note to play when. For that reason, extremely small MIDI files (less than 5K) can still deliver several minutes of music. A 3 minute MP3 sound carries a size of some 2.7 MB, while the equivalent 3 minute MIDI file is about 1/100 its size (27K). MIDI notes and sound effects are usually limited to the sounds in the standard General MIDI set. General MIDI is a fairly extensive set, including drums, woodwinds, strings, and some sound effects, but it's not the same as recording your own sounds or your voice which you can with MP3. Also, MIDI quality depends almost exclusively on the sound system used for playback. A PC with an el cheapo sound card using weak FM synthesis technology could make even a brilliant MIDI arrangement sound like a $15 electronic keyboard, whereas an expensive wavetable synthesis sound system could produce awe-inspiring MIDI tones. For quicker down loading, MIDI files are used here.
    ¹MIDI music from Bourbon Street & ²From MidiWorld³Sequenced (played & arranged) by Devian, a 30-year Indonesian graduate from the Berkely School of Music & used with permission • º Sequenced by Jan Halsema & used with permission • *Wherever possible and available permission was requested from their composers • **Used with permission • All music tracks are available for non-commercial use