| The
Happiness of being in Heaven |
Why must we forget?
Because by not knowing where we came from originally we are less
likely to be homesick for our heavenly existence, committing suicide to
return to the comfort of our heavenly existence when the going gets tough
and painful, and negating the spirit’s efforts to learn. It’s like being
at an actual earth school; one would rather go out and have fun to do what
one wants, so to speak, than attend classes.
Being on earth is purgatory (even hell,
as one spirit puts it in a communications with an internationally well
known accomplished medium) compared to our original home, although some
beings enjoy immense material wealth and other good fortunes in this dimension.
By starting with a clean slate, we forget about our true heavenly existence
so that it will not disturb our classes and our lessons, just as we in
our earthly school must temporarily forget about the nice things at home
and the enjoyable things we do with our friends.
No matter how nice, fulfilling and pleasant our
life is in this dimension, it is still nothing compared to where
we came from because we come from an incredibly beautiful place, gardens
bursting with flowers, fruits and trees that need no pruning and maintenance;
it is always perfect, and vivid colors unseen by our earthly eyes and feelings
unfelt by our limited physical body, and animals which normally prey on
each other living together side by side in harmony. And ... the ability
to communicate with these living beings, including plants. Plant communications,
that they are “alive” is a fact, already proven on this earthly dimension
by scientists who can electronically measure the pain when plants are cut
or are deprived of water, and the pleasure when they hear soothing music.
Likewise most people who have pets have an unspoken “mutual understanding”
with their pets.
We, as a human, many times want to attend classes
to get a higher degree, for instance; or to learn how to paint, to play
the piano, to learn how to shoot a gun because of some dire circumstances
we feel, to learn a new language because it increases one’s job opportunities,
and even just for the fun of it because one “likes it”, experiences the
typical person must have felt at one time or another in their lifetime.
Likewise, a soul may have a similar urge to learn about something which
it feels it should accomplish. It is therefore not strange that a soul
wants to return to “classes” even though it does take some effort to return
to re-incarnate, or re-enter the flesh with the inconveniences associated
with it.
When and if it becomes inconvenient, or there
are too many hardships involved, one just wants to end his/her lessons.
When one’s life becomes hard – really hard to the extent of losing hope,
one wants to end it.
To commit suicide
is akin to leaving our classroom and our school for good in the
middle of our lessons which, as we all know, gives us a failure mark on
our subject. We will regret all this wasted time and effort because we
have to go through this class all over again. Likewise, in the spiritual
dimension, cutting our life short is akin to leaving that earthly classroom.
We have to go through the hassles of redoing it. And the departed spirits
not only regret their actions because whatever pain that caused their
deaths by their own hand will be with them on the spiritual
plane They will also have to redo their classes and relive their pain all
over again. It’s just not worth it.
Not only that, if the soul’s earthly time was
to be, say 70 years, on this earthly dimension and he cuts his own life
short at 20, he will have to bear the pain that caused his death for the
next 50 years but in the spiritual dimension where his sensitivity is vastly
expanded. Those whom he left behind can shorten his spiritual regret by
way of prayers, love and forgiveness to the departed soul. This is a setback
to the soul’s development because the point of all these exercises of “learning
and experiencing” is to achieve the goal of being one with God. It is exactly
just like an earth school ... to achieve a set goal. Why? Because we feel
we need to.
Cyrus,
in my mind, had demonstrated his awareness of a spiritual being that all
life is precious. After the 7th. day commemoration,
I walked into Cyrus’ room and saw his favourite candies in a closed jar
on his desk that he ate from just a week ago swarming with ants. I went
to get a can of insect spray, and as I was going to spray the ants, Cyrus
said in my head: “Don’t kill them Daddy, they’s not hurting anyone.
Let them live.” This feeling was so strong, I had to pause, then I
put the can away because I didn’t want to make Cyrus unhappy. This was
the
first time in my 57 year life that I did not kill ants in a place where
they shouldn’t be. It was not the Cyrus that I knew who would take
the insect killer and spray the ants because perhaps now, in heaven, he
knows and realizes that insects, too, have a right to live. Analogically,
ants one supposes, is like seeing a strange cat in his bedroom. We wouldn’t
kill it; but shoo it away. Just because they are smaller (and thus insignificant)
it does not mean we should squash them. He was telling me something of
this nature from his heavenly perspective. 75 days later, the ants are
still on the candies, and I left them alone because they only go to the
candies. (Right photo, Cyrus age 12½ opening Dad’s birthday presents).
Those who have died “temporarily” or went through
NDEs (near death experiences, that
is, who died while on the operating table, for example, but is then revived),
do
not
want
to return to the earth plane after glimpsing what is really in store for
them when they die, if not for unfinished obligations like young
children, a spouse, and so on which each individual spirit knows what s/he
has to complete.
In one true story,
a mother who was operated on and “died” on the operating table experienced
a NDE and traveled to the other dimension. She did not want to return because
of her physical pain she was experiencing in this dimension which she did
not feel in her heavenly dimension, and in spite of her own two very small
children and bereaving husband. To a normal mother, her children is her
world because she will not allow anything or anyone pry them from her.
In spite of the prodding to return, and that her two little offsprings
still needed her because a true mother’s inherent nature is to protect
them, finally her spiritual guardian in the other dimension then said to
her, “this is the reason why you must return:” pointing
to a figure who was approaching them. Then, a tall, good looking young
man in his early 20s appeared and walked up to her. She didn’t recognize
him. Face to face, this young man who addressed her as “Mom” then said:
“Mom,
you have to return. I am to be your son. Your life there is not finished.
If you stay, I will never be born. ... Don’t you want me as your son?”
Naturally, she returned. She was cured and this son was born to her about
one year later, and during her golden years when he later became a young
man in his 20s, she remembered the same boy whom she first met when she
had her NDE. Life may be painful, but in many instances like this mother’s
NDE, it is worth it.
| Do
not discredit other people’s experiences |
Her experience is unique only
to her, and no matter how many people try to dissuade her otherwise,
including her own spouse and children, only she knows because she
was the one who experienced it.
This web page is about one’s unique personal experiences,
too, like that mother above who is really not concerned if others
believed her NDE because to her the proof is in her son. We, too, therefore,
who were forced to undergo a painful experience, have now learnt not
to
disbelieve other persons’ unique personal ADCs, NDEs, visions and other
experiences which is only unique to them as the experiencer. Besides, who
are we – or anyone else for that matter – to dissuade, disbelief or discredit
an experience felt by someone else which we ourselves have never experienced?
(To go to the page why
unique experiences can only be experienced by the experiencer, please click
here “That it may be our personal imagination is not the point”).
And
“Trying to measure the Science of Subjectiveness”
Young children can see spirits and are usually
far more sensitive to visions, or can recognize other souls whom they once
knew, and maybe even liked or was fond of because it was not too long ago
they arrived from their heavenly existence.
May
1 st., 2001
Rimba
(left
photo), our 5-year old second grandchild and first grandson, one day
entered my guest room where I receive only business guests. Our grownup
children, internationally experienced 35 year old environment & city
planning engineer daughter Laila, and
34 year old diplomat son, Arto, Rimba’s
Dad, would not enter this room, except when it is absolutely necessary
like when I am having business guests and they are leaving to go to their
own homes, for example. But one day, Rimba enters this room while I was
receiving several business guests. Being a grandson who does not know this
unwritten house rule (where his parents would have dragged him out if they
knew), I let him enter and introduced my guests to my grandson. After the
introductions, Rimba then looks at one of my guests, an elderly kind looking
white-haired gentleman of about my age (about 60), walks up to him sitting
on his chair, and then – to my utter amazement – puts his arms around this
man’s neck, hugs and kisses his right cheek then buries his face into the
gentleman’s neck. This gentleman, surprise in his face, then holds him
too, then after what I thought was a long 5 seconds, Rimba lets go and
walks out of the room. Rimba is first a very shy and sensitive boy, and
is certainly not the type to go to a complete stranger and say hello to,
even much less hug him. That he did this amazed me, would have amazed more
so his parents and his Grandmom, Minou, had they seen what he had done.
That boy does not even put his arms around me each time he kisses me when
he visits his grandparents at our home each weekend. Why did he do that
to a kind looking gentleman whom he never met in his life?
Contrary to what we know about him throughout
his 5 year old life, he’s a timid boy, sometimes needs prodding from his
parents to shake hands with new friends of his age, and very reserved
towards
a stranger whom he never met ? The only explanation that fitted
reason was his soul recognized this old gentleman whom he must have liked
and loved at one point of his soul’s journeys of several other lives. (Rimba's
family, Dad, Mom & brother, right animation).
Did one ever meet a complete stranger and then,
without any logical reason feel sympathy, liked him/her right away as if
we knew her/him all our life? And can even talk to him/her for hours on
end feeling comfortable as if talking to a very old friend – and yet, we
have never met him/her? And you know how “comfortable” (safe) one feels
when talking to an old friend? Or how about the times when we meet a complete
stranger and dislike this person for no apparent reason? Souls, according
to many readings re-enter a lifetime as a soul group and will meet those
other souls that played a part in our previous lives. Obviously we will
meet those whom we must have liked, loved and cared for where we feel sympathy
and a liking. Conversely, we will also meet those whom we did not care
for. Perhaps this gentleman was someone Rimba must have loved in a previous
lifetime.
As children grow older their visions and soul
sensitivity decrease because, among others, their parents and other elders
discourage it as “wild imaginations”, and their innocence has been lessened
because they have learnt about many unpleasant things in this world, watching
death, vengeance and people injuring people on TV for example. If we had
young children – we are now past that stage – we would not discourage their
visions because we are now wiser and smarter and because we have had 35
years of parenting. If only we had that 35 years of parenting
experience when we first started when we were youngsters of 22 and
23 years og age ...
| Thinking
and talking only about pleasant ... and irrelevant things in life? |
We usually never think why
are we on this material earthly dimension, and never think why we may have
to go through trials, physical pain, and mental devastation. Apparently
it is so that we can learn a new experience. And believe me losing
a child, especially an adult child, is a very new, enlightening
and a very devastating experience. Enlightening because it forced
us to open our eyes to the actual purposes of life. Pain is the best
teacher. We will never forget it. Pleasure? We forget it the next day.
We only think about the pleasant things in life,
which is very reasonable for young people starting off in life:
making money, lots of it whenever possible, while others preferred careers.
Then having pets and the other enjoyable things in life; going out with
friends, partying, taking trips gallivanting all over the the place (the
world if one can afford it; at the local park if one cannot); live in one’s
own huge multi-million dollar homes, own land and other properties if one
became lucky enough; drive fast sports cars and even big
bikes which cost as much as a sedan each. In short, just to enjoy life
... because that is what life is all about, isn’t it?
If only someone 35 years ago told us that life
is not about what 90% of what people and the world’s yuppies think
life is about ... that it is not about the weather; that so-and-so got
a promotion and changed jobs, that so-and-so has the flu ... irrelevant,
small talk that is forgotten the next day that 95% of people talk about
...
if
only we had the wisdom of 35 years of parenting, that besides the fun and
games, there are very likely the painful experiences ... and if
we had some capability of transferring this wisdom back in time to ourselves
when we were only just kids in our mid 20s and then on to our mid 40s ...
we would be better prepared mentally – even if these devastating events
did happen.
For one thing, we will strive harder to become
better and more thoughtful parents; for example, not to treat lightly the
results of Cyrus’ x-rays 2.5 years ago when a small speck on his left lung
showed up. So when tragedy happened and Cyrus passed away because of a
lung illness–even though his short life may have been pre-destined, we
know, deep down, we did our best by taking care and paying attention
to this little thing which later devastated the whole family. Irrespective
of what friends, even my own Minou, Cyrus’ Mom, said that I should not
blame myself, I know as his father I could have done
better.
| One
is not immune from life’s tragedies ... |
People who do not
want to know about the unpleasant things and tragedies of life –
and think they are immune from it which, frankly, we were guilty of – are
like people who were never hit by cancer, but only hear about cancer and
probably think tragedies will never hit them. They sympathize when friends
go through this disease. But we as the observer will never actually feel
the pain of how it feels having this disease in one’s body, nor
the pain his/her family is going through.
A tragedy can hit anyone and at any
time especially when one least expect it ... a child going to school,
getting a loaf of bread or pizza from the corner store ... and then, suddenly,
tragedy strikes never to ever see and talk to this child again. And
this, unfortunately, many people choose to forget and ignore – like once
we chose to ignore.
But once this disease (or any other tragedy) hits,
one can be very sure that everything, and anything, about
this tragedy will be sought – through doctors’ consultations, books, traditional
healers, the internet, anything – just so that the pain – and pain
of bereavement – will go away... just as we are experiencing now.
I can visualize cancer pain. For five years in
1981 through 1986 I was in pain (the kind of pain when one sleeps the wrong
way, blood flow is cut off, and one’s arm or leg cannot be controlled because
of pins and needles. Except it was not just an arm, but my whole body from
the chest down), and excruciating pain for the last one year and a half
that continued on and on 24 hours a day never ceasing because a tumor had
invaded my spine from the center of my skull to under my should blades.
The numbness was such that when I stepped into nails and glass shreds,
or if a drill bit pierced my finger I did not feel it. I did not even have
the strength to pull an attaché cart (the kind one takes into a
plane). I walked like a drunk because I could not control my legs, and
if someone bumped into me in the mall I would go sprawling down. I was
aware that I would be paralyzed if I did not do something about it. But
what is this “something” because no one knew what the cause was?
To visualize being paralyzed when one was in the
prime of one’s life (39 through 44 years of age) and seeing the world go
by and be unable to participate in it was haunting me each hour of my life
at that time. It was a feeling of hopelessness one would not want to experience.
It was better to be dead. At least one knows when it is was time to go
and end all this pain. In the last one month of the fifth year a nerve
expert in Jakarta discovered the reasons for my pain and numbness. For
the last 5 years the doctors–even after a regular quarterly yearly check
ups which included the Air Force medical facilities which had the latest
in everything because at that time the AF with (the US’) NASA was preparing
Dr. Pratiwi Soedarmono, as Indonesia’s chosen astronaut–could not see the
tumor inside my vertebrae (because they did not look for it). I was however
cured after a 5 hour spine operation done by 4 doctors who had to carefully
navigate into my spine.
Sometimes, the tragedy of cancer pain is so devastating
physically, the sufferer just wants to end it, and never mind what society’s
traditional beliefs and what the different Holy Books of the world’s great
religions say about suicide.
And now as bereaved parents we had no idea
that we would feel the same way ... that we want to end our lives, too.
Why?
Because the mental pain of someone we truly love leaving us is such
that it is literally eating into us, not unlike a cancer sufferer’s
physical pain ... and in this pain, sometimes we cannot breathe; cannot
control our voice, we shake, and sometimes tremble not with fear because
of a ghost, but because of an indescribable event deep down in our minds
that won’t go away. And I am unable to sleep, and stay awake every other
day until 5 to 6 o’clock in the mornings, and then maybe sleep for two
or three hours; and sometimes cannot sleep for a whole 24 hours. It was
during such times that I poured my pain in these pages.
And when I reflect on the dangers of being a
former field operative (as dramatized in James Bond movies), and the
fear of doing assignments and failing in communist countries, this fear
is nothing compared to the trembling of losing one’s own child. Fear in
doing the operative’s job? Ofcourse, one is always afraid of being killed
or blown to pieces in some land mine, thrown in jail as a spy, or whatever
that comes with this kind of territory. But one can, to a certain extent,
control this fear. And those who do similar jobs and claim they are not
afraid, are either very stupid or do not know what they are in for – and
operatives, especially those “self-sufficient” ones needed to finish off
3 previous failed missions in Soviet controlled East Germany – are usually
not
stupid). But this devastation and trembling that comes when one loses
an adult child and friend, one cannot control it.
Sleeping pills? It doesn’t work. Up the dosage
and I get a fantastic headache the next day, and tears just run down both
our faces for no apparent reason, be it in the privacy of our home, in
the sidewalk or in the middle of hundreds of complete strangers in some
mall as soon as we see something to trigger it ... not just once, but many
times a day. All this not for just a week, but months after that. But perhaps
we will be luckier than the mother who emailed us that she had to be under
the doctor’s care and medication for a year and half ...
If someone told us that we would be open
to suicide if we lost Cyrus or our other children, we would probably
think this person must be mad. If only in our mid 50s we could go back
in time and tell our younger selves in their 20s and 40s ... we would have
believed, and because of this 35 year wisdom, redirect our priorities in
our lives.
And one’s life achievements, such as: one
must
meet such-and such to get the contract, to get the promotion, and everything
else that comes with doing these daily things, including the likes of losing
one’s multi-million dollar home, one’s job, are
nothing – are
insignificant
compared to what one must go through when one loses one’s child. And ...
we went through and experienced all these.
| Changing
Priorities because of the lessons of pain |
When one’s child passes away
our priorities change, whether consciously, or unconsciously. We now know
that life is no longer about careers, making more
money, being the best doctor or singer in town, or living a good life.
Naturally, we all need the basic necessities of life. But all the material
things and goals we strive for beyond basic necessities? It can go
away, if we are given the choice of choosing one or the other. Once one
goes through them, like we have gone through them, those things – the money,
the supersports cars, the huge houses, the failures and victories in our
lives, the accolades in the end mean nothing. We now know that life
is about loving those ones we care for: one’s children, one’s
spouse as the person next closest to you, and others nearest you.
While we have many well-meaning folks who tell
us, “we can feel what you feel...”, the reality though is very,
very
different. Why? Because before we were an observer,
an outsider
looking in from the outside at parents grieving for their child but who
have never felt the actual pain of losing our child. When
we saw
two of our acquaintances loose their child a few years ago Minou, Cyrus’
mother had some tears for their mothers, and I had none–just a thought,
what
a pity or how terrible. And that was it! This was, probably,
the typical reaction of most people. And we were like most people.
Now that we are in it by experiencing the
loss of our own child, it does not even come close to any
pain that we imagined and thought about when we were witnessing
the pain of our acquaintances.
When it happened to us, we had no idea
of the devastation! It was some a 1,000 times more painful than in our
wildest imagination, tears 10 times a day for Minou especially remembering
those same places where Cyrus used to take her, and seeing young
men of Cyrus’ age with his usual haircut and thoughts of “if my boy
was still around”, and my voice breaking whenever I talk about him and
tears pouring down my face.
Before his death, I could never imagine
what kind of pain could make us cry 10 times a day – be it the
passing away of my own dear parents which I experienced who made a
lot of sacrifices for us especially during World War II in the ’40s when
we were still helpless babies; the death of my own sister, the deaths of
grandparents, of aunts and uncles, cousins, of friends who died of cancer,
of heart attacks (including one who passed away a couple days ago as I
am writing out this webpage); and the loss of much less significant things
like losing one’s job, one’s business, one’s money – whatever, which
we can always recover.
| What
will make one cry ... 10 times a day? |
Can
you, as an observer, imagine what would
most likely make you cry 10 times a day? Think about it for a moment. No?
I guess it would be very hard. We could not either ... at that time. I
certainly could not imagine ... especially with my previous experience
as an operative
in communist East Germany. I thought I was immune. I knew–at that time
anyway–I was reputedly to be cold, unemotional
and unfeeling even among family and friends which is nothing to be proud
of. And I certainly was not a crybaby, and in my adult life could remember
crying only once, and that was when my Mother passed away in London
in 1966. After Cyrus passed away, and although we both tried to smile and
make out as if life is the same, the pain and sadness still showed in Minou’s
eyes (Top left photo). Had I become a softie? I doubt it; I have
instead learned to love. And that’s why I can cry 10 times a day when this
loved one is no longer there.
Bereaved parents are willing to trade all
for the child’s life, including thoughts of giving up one’s life. This,
of-course, assumes the parents truly love the child because, unfortunately,
not
all parents love their child.
And as the word “love” is such a loose expression,
let us define in this context and agree on what the definition of “loving
a child” (or a spouse) is: the parent (or any other non-blood related,
non-parent adult) willing to take the place of a kidnapped or a sick child,
and the consequences that may come with it (or similar life-threathening
situations), including death. And if God allowed trading, the bereaved
parent will trade their life for their child’s. In short, the parent or
non-related person is willing to trade all. That, is as good a definition
of what loving your child is about – to give all, even your own
life.
But if I, as a parent, am suffering a debilitating
and fatal disease, I would not trade my life for my child’s and
prefer to agonize though it all until I die. I would not even accept an
organ transplant from my child who may have an extra one to spare. But
bereaved parents, unlike the fatal cancer sufferer, are fortunate in that
these thoughts about giving up one’s life will eventually go away as time
goes by and their rationality begins to take hold. Some, as a person emailed
us, required a year and a half medical treatment as her mental anguish
must have taken its toll on her physical well being. Also, most bereaved
parents still manage to have their faculties intact although it was crushed
by the loss of a child, and can still manage–like us–to consider the consequences
of suicide towards their other loved ones. The bereaved is fortunate not
to go through constant physical pain of a fatal disease sufferer.
People, authors who write about ADCs
or “after death communications” and
NDEs quoting
the thousands of stories by people who went through their experiences,
say that the worst devastation any human can ever feel is the loss
of a child. The second, is the loss of a spouse. I have lost a sister,
my Mother and my Father and therefore can make the comparison and would
agree with that observation.
As much as I love my parents and my departed sister,
the
pain and devastation of losing our Cyrus is much greater. Our grieving
for our parents are probably not as deep because unconsciously, deep down
in our hearts, we knew they lived their lives and, as my departed Father
conveyed to his children, he was tired of living and did not have the will
to live any longer.
The head nurse, a Swedish lady, of the MMC Metropolitan
Medical Center where Cyrus passed away, one of dozens of Jakarta’s hospitals,
hugged Minou when we walked into the hospital’s lobby 10 days later for
some unfinished business. Yet, we had only known her for just over two
weeks. After the pleasantries and condolences, Minou then asked her, “You
must be accustomed to seeing people dying everyday.” “Oh yes,” she replied,
“We see older people die and it’s normal, but we still cannot accept the
death of a young person. It is even very hard for us in this hospital to
see Cyrus die,” she said. Even she who is accustomed to often see people
die, and a complete stranger whom we met not more than 4 or 5 times and
who met Cyrus and talked to him during her routine rounds over a 17 day
period, had tears in her eyes.
Of the dozens of friends, acquaintances, business
associates, and even friends of friends, who experienced the passing away
of their child was one person whom we recently got to know–a friend of
a friend–since Cyrus passed away on January 28th., 1999 who experienced
the death of her own child, a child who was not a baby, not a teenager,
but a young man, too – of 26 years. All she could say was,
“I know .... I know .... ” while hugging us with tears running down her
face. She, who went through the same experience, already knew that words
could not describe it. Her devastation was even greater than ours, because
one year after her son’s death, she lost her husband too.
She felt what we felt: “Bereaved parents are
like those whose house was burning. They were in it; were badly burnt and
injured, but they survived with burnt pains. But the observer only feels
the heat – will never feel the pain of those who were burnt, no matter
how hard they try to imagine the pain”.
Then there was the story of an acquaintance who
was so upset with the death of his son, he insisted on spending the nights
by his son’s graveyard. His relatives had to keep him company, so they
pitched a tent and he held on for 3 days and nights. Another was the story
of a dollar multi millionaire who offered all his material wealth and his
life to his God if He would let his son who was sick in the hospital live.
His son died. All the material comforts of his life in the end meant nothing
to him, as it also means nothing to us now.
But if we could convey
some of 
these
lessons and wisdom of life to some other youngsters just starting their
lives in these web pages and elsewhere, who are right in the middle of
it like our son, Arto,
32, our 35 years of parenting and what we have learnt then does not
become useless. Because like him, he will watch out and heed the lessons
learnt by his parents, by his father in particular. And if I, as his father,
can contribute and convey some of these lessons we learned to my Son or
others, perhaps what we experienced may better prepare any parents about
the possibilities that life is not all fun and games, but also about taking
care–including minor details like a small speck in one’s body–and loving
those near you (Arto, with his sons, grandsons Rimba and Samudra, 1999).
Because of this particular anguish,
we therefore devote some time to seek answers on the whys of this
suffering.
We seek this because we as his parents, like any
other parent, want to know “Is Cyrus–or any other departed child–okay?”,
“Are there ‘people’ taking care of him in that dimension?” To us parents,
this is very, very important as any parent will tell you.
|
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Deep down I
know he’s okay because 18
hours after his death, he smiled, a subdued mona-lisa type smile.
It was by any standard a miracle, religious or otherwise. His smile was
a vivid example of a physical ADCs witnessed by dozens of people. We have
had many ADCs with him after that. We even had an ADC from his Guardian
described below.
But his ADCs are giving us a “left hanging in
the air” feeling. I give you an analogy: it’s like going to
the hospital and visiting one’s loved one, and the doctors tell you:
“He’s is okay, but ... you cannot enter his room.”
That’s not good enough for most people because
one would like to go in and see and talk to the patient – at the very least
to look at the sleeping patient for oneself. Try it out one day, and walk
out of the hospital without seeing the patient, especially if the patient
is a loved one, and knowing it’s pointless because it’s impossible to enter
that room in the hospital (because it is in spiritual dimension). That’s
how bereaved parents feel.
Like anyone visiting the hospital I want to be
sure, and only my eyes (and ears) will convince me. It’s not that I doubt
the doctors, or the Holy Books, but it’s human nature: I would like
to go in to Cyrus’ room, see with my own eyes, and even talk to him, to
make sure he’s okay! Then, our grieving will be so much lessened and we
won’t feel so much being left hanging in the air.
For the bereaved parents, the analogy of
“doctors” are the world’s holy books, the Bible, the Koran, etc.; even
our very own ADCs experiences with Cyrus; the experiences of other bereaved
parents like Teresa Stevens,
and Sharon;
and books like Talking to Heaven and Reaching to Heaven by
James
van Praagh, a well known medium recounting what is probably thousands
of stories whom we saw twice in 1999 alone in CNN’s Larry King Live
viewed in some 210 countries who demonstrated his ability– live– for one
hour each time to talk to departed souls at the surprise, the confirmations
and comfort of his callers. Another is Hello from Heaven by Judy
and Bill Guggenheim and Dr.
Lauren Thibodeau who is working on a follow up of Hello to Heaven
with
Judith Guggenheim, and another by Edgar Cayce who documented and
cross-referenced over 14,000 cases of reincarnation. They all say
our departed ones are “okay”.
| Opening
New Dimensions because of pain |
Since
he passed away some 75 days ago we've
had positive and encouraging experiences which convince us that Cyrus is
not “dead” but alive and is “communicating” with us just as if he was in
this dimension. (Cyrus at 15½ years of age)
Bear in mind and I say it again that, in
our particular case, we are forced to seek answers: whether there are other
dimensions, and whether one’s soul returns to re-learn old lessons or learns
new lessons of life, which we believe. We are forced to seek these
answers because of bereavement, and to make sense what is the purpose of
all this sadness, and of life because anguish makes one learn.
An observer will open a new dimension of knowledge
within him/her, when and if they feel the pain, when and if
they experience the same event of either cancer sufferer, or that
of a bereaved parent. “You and I do not see things as they are. We see
things as we are. (Herb Cohen).”
And ... we are what we are because of our individual
experiences, and because of our different and unique “knowledge” and “experience
base” of a particular event. It is safe to say that if different persons
experience the same event, even the non-believers because of their inexperience,
will very likely share the same opinion when they are exposed to
the same experience. It’s like the child told not to put his hands on a
burning candle because it will hurt. Once he puts his hands on that flame
because of inexperience, his knowledge and experience base becomes the
same as that of the teller: it hurts. Our ADCs with Cyrus is akin to this
candle analogy – that is, you will believe as we do now, like the child
who put his hands on that flame, when you experience it because no amount
of talking to an inexperienced child (an inexperienced adult, too, for
that matter) will convince anyone unless this person experiences it ...
and unless one’s experience base is changed because of a new experience.
| Cyrus
and his Guardian’s ADCs with us |
Cyrus’ Mom has had many after death communications
with him:
(1) while Minou was grieving
at his grave on the 3rd. day thinking about her son in the ground, all
dark, cold and alone and then suddenly a voice, loud and clear telling
her
“Don't cry Mom. It's not me down there. Iam up here,
standing right next to you.” (Right photo after maintenance placed grass
patches and planted flowers at his grave as per our instructions).
(2) Telling her not to wear black on the 3rd.
day while dressing herself for the communal prayers at home “I don't
like to see you in black, Mom”. So, she wears a white blouse,
and his comment was “that's better...”.
Islamic
communal prayers are conducted where neighbours,
friends and 30 or so prayer folks from the Mosque come to the house of
the deceased and are done on the 1st. day, the 7th., the 40th., (March
8th.), the 100th. (May 7th., 1999) and the 1,000th. days of the passing
away. The 2nd. and 3rd. days are optional which we also conducted for Cyrus.
(Communal
prayers on the 40th. day, a section picturing the women where more than
100 persons attended spilling over to the dining and living rooms &
terrace and front living room behind the camera man).
(3) Days later on one of many occasions when Minou
was trying to get away from home as friends tried to take her out and entertain
her because of the many memories Cyrus left in our house, Cyrus was asking
her, “where are you going Mom? I don't want you to go out,
otherwise you will forget about me”.
She replied, “I can’t bear to stay at home,
Cyrus, you know how painful it is for Mummy”, and his reply was, “You
can go out after 75 days...” (that will fall on April 12). “How
can I ever forget about you, Cyrus?” she replied.
Yes, how can we ever forget about him?
He was for 25 years a good part of our lives, a part of ourselves. We still
do not know where Cyrus got the figure “75 days” from. The number 75 was
not in our “vocabulary” of events shared by his parents (for instance it
is not an Islamic commemoration date of his death, or a future event which
he planned, or even a favourite number). After 3 days of trying to figure
out where and how he came out with that figure (Minou is always very good
with figures, and can calculate a 100 item groceries list without a calculator,
remember a stranger’s birthdate, what she even wore 25 years ago, etc.),
she finally gave up. He didn’t usually show this kind of “selfishness”
to his Mom of not allowing her to go out, or “command” her to do anything,
so it was a different part of his character he never showed
his parents. This part of his being–aside from the 75 days–was “new” to
us which his spirit conveyed to us.
(4) Another “command” was: “Wear my favourite
necklace, Mom” (for the 40th. day commemoration), to which Minou
replied “I thought you took it and lost it. I looked for it once but
couldn’t find it.”, and he replied “No, it's not lost. Look again,
it's there in your jewel case under ... ”, and sure enough when she
looked inside the place where he told her to look, she found his gold necklace,
hidden under the bottom of a small drawer in her jewel box and wore it!
When she met the 100-plus guests, friends and the prayer folks and head
of our local district, she told them openly Cyrus told her to wear his
necklace! She mentioned it just as if he was alive and telling her to wear
it.
So we know he is okay. These ADCs were when Minou
was wide awake, getting dressed, at home or in the car, in public places
and at the grave site, in the mornings, afternoons and nightimes, not while
asleep.
(5) I had one direct ADC when 2 days after his
passing away, Cyrus woke me early at 6 o’clock in the morning by telling
me clear as a bell, “Daddy, Yayu took your university ring and
two of your watches”. He would sometimes do this to me (to suddenly
wake me up) when he needed to borrow or ask for something early in the
morning, except that I couldn’t see him and heard him only in my head.
But I sure woke up from a deep sleep because of exhaustion of the past
days’ events, just as if he shook me awake. Yayu was a former washer woman,
one of many servants whom we cannot accuse of stealing because not all
are thieves, who used to work in our house a year ago (over a year and
a half period I lost 6 watches in all and a 1964 U.S. university ring which
I got when I was a Fulbright scholar) and she came voluntarily to our house
from his first day to help out with dish and clothes washing, ironing,
house cleaning, etc. because of the dozens of mourners who came for 7 straight
days. His ADC woke me up just as if he physically walked in and sat on
my bed like he used to do – like in real life I would have my eyes closed,
half awake and his real voice would talk to me, except I couldn’t see him.
Yayu taking my things was new information to me because we
must have had at least a half a dozen servants we could think of who may
have taken it.
One thing I noticed about our ADCs, I could not
decide whether he spoke (thought) to me in English or Indonesian. I
knew his ADC about my ring and the name Yayu was that thought,
but I could not determine the actual language it was spoken in although
it was clear as a bell. Out of curiosity I asked his mother about their
many ADCs and the language he used, and she thought about it and said,
“I don’t know. I couldn’t think what language he used. But I think to him
in English.”
(6) Minou a day later in one of their ADCs asked
him, “how come you can tell Daddy who took his ring and watch, but you
can’t tell me who took my small diamond ear rings?”.
And he replied: “Mom, I can only read the
minds of those who enter the house. The person who took them hasn’t entered
the house.”
This information was again new knowledge
to us. It certainly was not in our knowledge and experience base
at that time, i.e. the departed can read one’s mind, and the person who
took it never re-entered the house.
(7) 24 days after his death, on Sunday, the 21st.
of February, at 3 a.m. Cyrus’ mom experienced an ADC – this time not from
Cyrus, but from his “guardian”. She suddenly woke up, wide
awake, then sat up wondering what suddenly woke her up. While sitting up
wide awake, she then heard a voice which said to her:
“I am Cyrus’ Guardian. Cyrus is very
happy here. Because he was such a short time in your world, there
are so many people whom he knew who are still here, and who have
not left. They all like him here and are his friends because he was a nice
person, not nasty.
“Tell his father he should not hold himself
responsible and feel that he didn't do enough. People are the way they
are; like his father is the way he is. Cyrus was the way he was, and no
matter what his father did, he could not change him. His father could not
change his destiny.
“For you (addressing Minou), you will
join Cyrus much sooner than you think. Do not think of your fears because
if you think about it, it will happen.”
(a) There are points in our minds which are important:
“tell his father he should not hold himself responsible...”.
No one at that time on the 28th. of January
on the date of his passing away knew I held myself responsible. I hadn’t
quite articulated and ‘analyzed’ my feelings yet. Just a nagging feeling
in the back of my mind that was just emerging, that in this life time his
presence was a
test for me personally when I was sobbing my heart out to myself in
some back corner of my living room while covering my face for failing him
for not doing enough for my boy (for not taking proper attention to Cyrus’
lung spots, for example). Except for Arsineh an Iranian and someone else,
both Minou’s friends, who were moments later trying very hard to comfort
me. And no one, except my wife – at that time – knew that I was pouring
my grief into these web pages where I blamed myself in a kind of sin of
omission.
Unlike many people who experience ADCs, or other
unexplainable private phenomena, to us his Guardian’s message was real,
like
the mother above whose NDE with her unborn son was real to her. And
what is important, in this instance, it is what the experiencers believe.
And if ever you feel you had an ADC, what is important
is this experience was real enough to you because you cannot share this
experience with someone else. Even someone close to you – unless two or
more persons see an image ADC of a departed one at the same time.
Just like the dozens of mourners who saw Cyrus’
smile 18 hours after passing away.
These ADCs with our Son were new knowledge
about the afterlife which Cyrus conveyed to us, for instance he can read
people’s mind who enter our house, and which we certainly did not know
anything about, not even from reading about other folks’ ADCs in those
books mentioned above. Also, the other folks ADCs do not recount of a soul’s
ability to read the earthly being’s mind; it conveys its messages through
the mediums, and they in turn transfers it to their loved ones. But apparently,
we can have direct communications with our loved ones in the other
dimension if only we are willing to go through the effort of taking the
time of learning it.
(b) Telling Cyrus’ mother that “...you will
join Cyrus much sooner than you think...”, and
(c) “Do not think about your fears ... because
it will happen”, a thought vocabulary and knowledge base that is completely
alien to us.
Laila, our 33
year old daughter whose birthdate is the same as Cyrus’ on the 9th.
of November but 8 years apart, asked her Mom: “Mom, are you sure it
was not your imagination?” To which her Mom replied, “Well, what
awakened me was like the person was right there in front of me, I looked
around and Daddy was fast asleep, so he didn’t wake me. Then I heard this
voice. Besides, there were new information about me joining Cyrus sooner
than I expect, and not to think about my fears. I never even thought about
my fears, much less about joining him sooner.” Click
here also what “imagination” really is.
You know the feeling when you are thinking of
someone and then a few seconds later the phone rings and he/she is on the
other end; or someone is looking at you from behind and then suddenly you
turn around and see this person staring at you, all because of some mental
communications.
(d) The statement by his Guardian: “... no
matter what his father did, he could not change him. His father could not
change his destiny.” We found out later on, apparently the majority
of Moslems (and Indonesia is the world’s largest Moslem country
with a 210 million population, and it is a secular state, not a
Moslem country like Iran and Pakistan) believe that one’s destiny has
already been pre-determined before one enters into the earthly dimension.
His pre-destined life was apparently foreseen
by a Tehrani fortune teller two and a half years ago when she told Cyrus
that “when you reach the age of 25, everything will change for you for
the better. You will no longer any problems, life will be so wonderful
for you and you will no longer suffer.” Minou who was a listener did
not
realize then that what she, the fortune teller, meant was he was going
to pass away and go to Heaven. This person, a woman of 35 lives in Grand
Mom’s Iran Malek’s house, so everyone knew her well. Minou later on told
me that people who can see in the future do not foresee passing away, and
even if they did, they would not tell you. Another seer in Tehran also
told Cyrus the same thing, and another in Jakarta saw the same future events,
but later told a friend who accompanied Minou when she was not around that
“I really feel for that poor Mother”, but no elaborating on what she meant.
Only 35 years of parenting and after experiencing what death is,
will people be able to read in between the lines.
By being unable to “...change his destiny”
one’s
life therefore was pre-determined, not haphazardly, without any
pre-ordained plan. If my Catholic and Protestant lessons learnt in Rome,
Canada and the U.S. in the 1950s and Sunday Schools years later on were
correct, I believe these religions also convey more or less the same message
of pre-ordination.
Readings by dozens of mediums capable of bridging
the other dimension, also convey the same thing by the thousands of spirits
who have been able to bridge the communications gap that their life, or
to-be-learnt experiences on this earth, were pre-ordained. Pre-ordination
includes death through illness, through a tragic accident, and even group
deaths like in an airplane crash.
Lastly, from a purely “logical” point of view
in this earthly dimension, one does not haphazardly enter any old
classroom, and just learn “any old thing”. One plans for it, to study the
English language for instance. It is usually not done just for fun, but
for a specific reason, and then learns it, usually to better one’s self.
And again, pain and suffering are the determining factors because they
will always make us remember.
The mental pain of a very good and dear friend
of ours who is being cured of her cancer is a good example where her mental
pain (the prospect of leaving her husband and her two good looking young
women daughters) made her sit up and pay attention to her health thereafter.
She would not think of shaping up if she only had a tummy ache.
One can still exercise his God-given ability to
choose to learn or not to learn. But each one of us are on this earthly
dimension to teach ourselves the “experiences” of what we had been pre-ordained
to learn, and apparently at the same time, we enter into this world and
“learn” together with the other souls who will then play a part
in these lessons like, one supposes, with the other students in the same
class.
So the earthly Minou, who comes from Iran, and
I from a completely different part of the world, had agreed between ourselves
(with the guardians) in the spiritual dimension that we have to learn this
devastation of losing our Cyrus. Cyrus ... well, he played the part of
our son in what is then an earthly stage of life just like in a Broadway
stage, acted out between actors and actresses for this purpose. He must
have been very dear to us in the spiritual dimension, and perhaps even
in previous lifetimes, to be able to affect us so much.
Perhaps also, as a side benefit (if one can call
it that) I then have to pour my grief on webpages which, hopefully, would
be able to touch some people ... for not attempting to commit suicide,
for example because there is hope.
Bear in mind also, that in the spiritual dimension
the physical distances between Iran and Indonesia are non existent as
a material world is not spiritual characteristic. Cyrus, I understand,
can be talking to us face to face at the same table (so to speak), with
Minou on Cyrus’ left in Tehran and I in Jakarta.
So, although in this earthly dimension we are
separated by thousands of miles some 35 years ago, but “destiny” of physically
meeting because this world is the size of a coffee table, had propelled
us to meet in London. It was not haphazard.
If, for some reason, I got killed in East Germany
as an operative,
the killer would have my karma on him, (for any action there is
the counter reaction, or as the Bible and Koran say an eye for
an eye) for interfering with my pre-ordained plans to rescue this woman
scientist (who failed 3 times with other operatives) who, in turn, had
some other pre-ordained plan in the fulfillment of her life to take place
later on in west Germany (probably to save people’s life in her profession,
for example) and then in the U.S.A. (where she is a U.S. citizen now).
Not only that, Laila, Arto, Cyrus and the grandchildren
would not have been born to fulfill their life experiences. And I have
a deep down sneaking suspicion that my son, Arto and grandsons, have to
achieve something of a great nature for Indonesia, i.e. to contribute in
placing Indonesia where it should belong as the 4th. largest country in
the world after the U.S.A., and not be an unknown entity–except when there
are riots and other disturbances only.
We are one and the same as told my those
thousands of souls who bridge the dimensions; and by what the Holy
Books say because we are God’s children. It must mean, therefore, that
our lives are interconnected like Laila, Arto and Cyrus’ lives are interconnected
because they came from the same parents.
We are aware of this soul interconnection when
we are in the other dimension because our consciousness is greatly expanded.
Here ofcourse, as we all know, we can become enemies simply because
of different beliefs and even different color skins ... like Laila and
Cyrus, for example, might become enemies simply because Laila likes to
wear somber colors t-shirts while Cyrus likes a different color which is
not even worth talking about and much less get upset over it. And he kills
her simply because of a difference of opinion, which is very silly when
we are in the spiritual dimension.
(e) The Guardian’s statement “Do not
think of your fears because if you think about it, it will happen”
confirms that thought matters. Thought is tangible because
it will move the universal powers (God) to execute the thought into reality.
This as we all know happens in prayers, and the prayers that ask for miracles
and for healing, and the modernistic “think positive” of today’s world.
Change your mind-set, and your life will change
accordingly. This, too, has been confirmed by the souls capable of communicating
with both mediums and their loved ones. I give you an example: if a thief
enters your house and you cower in the dark, the thief will toss you around
like a rag doll. But if you fight back–because you have a mind set to fight
back–you will live and the thief will regret having entered your house.
This is what I learnt from the day I was an operative until now.
But unless we experience a personal anguish and
have been told by a spiritual Guardian, we would never really understand
the significance that thought is tangible because personal pain
gives
life to an otherwise bland and generalized knowledge that is frequently
quoted in many of the world’s major religions but its significance not
always properly understood..
(8) Yayo’ ADC
Another
ADC happened to Yayo, my daughter's 34 year old male friend, who assisted
in the ceremonial and actual cleansing of my boy’s remains as per Moslem
rituals (i.e. besides the actual bathing, food remains are ejected from
the top and bottom of remains;
thereafter wrapped in white clothe without any external accessories of
any kind). (Left photo, the day of the burial, Laila, Dad & Mom
contemplating his life, our lives and why death at such a young age after
the majority of mourners left. The flowers sent for him were piled higher
than the grave’s wooden marker. It comforted us to to know that many loved
him. Arto, Cyrus’ older brother, (right photo) was in New York and arrived
in Jakarta for 4 days for the 40th. day commemoration on March 8th.).
At first, Yayo did not tell us about his ADC communications
because he was not sure how we would take it. A day later, he told Laila,
who then passed on this ADC information to us a few days later because
she didn’t want to disturb us. I then insisted on talking to Yayo myself,
and a few days later after grilling him with all kinds of questions, he
told me as follows:
“It was around 2 in the morning, Saturday (30th.
Jan. 1999, a day after we buried Cyrus) my lights were off, and I was
just drifting off to sleep, after (a hectic day at) your house
(communal prayers on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd, and later on for the 7th. day)
when suddenly in the dark, I felt Cyrus. I turned around slightly and saw
an image of Cyrus’ face in the dark, behind me not clear, but definitely
Cyrus,” he said.
Cyrus was holding him in a “hug” from the
back, and Cyrus held him for a long time, “over 1 hour or so”, he said.
At first he was apprehensive Yayo said for hugging him a long time. Because
he knew Cyrus, he was not worried, he said. “How did this hug feel?” I
asked. “Just like a hug. I let him hug me, and then as I was about to fall
asleep an hour or so later, he left.”
Cyrus did not communicate anything to him but
in his mind he “felt” Cyrus was “thanking” Yayo for all the help he gave
his family. Because there was no actual word communications, Yayo felt
perhaps there was something else that Cyrus wanted to tell him, because
Yayo felt there was no need for Cyrus to thank him as it was what he could
do for Laila’s family. So, Yayo decided that perhaps there was something
wrong with his grave. “It may have caved in,” he said to me. (Remains are
lain on the side facing the right wall of the grave, and 2 centimeter [about
¾ inch] planks throughout its length are then placed between the
left side floor and halfway up the wall on the right on top of the remains.
There is then some space between the remains and the earth on top, and
the possibility of it caving in if the planks did not hold the earth on
top).
So
the next day, Yayo told Laila he wanted to go to Cyrus’ grave and would
she accompany him, and Laila telling me of her intentions I too, went to
Cyrus’ grave. A fleeting thought did enter my mind “how come Yayo wants
to go back to the grave”, but I dismissed it with the thought maybe Laila
wants to see her brother’s grave and Yayo was being nice by driving her
there. I went there because I missed him as I had no reference point except
for his grave. Cyrus’ mom was too upset to look at his grave again so she
stayed home. But I never thought for a moment at the time that Yayo who
drove us there in his car went to “inspect” the grave. (Left photo taken
by Laila when Yayo went to “inspect” Cyrus’ grave).
Because Yayo is a traditional and “literal” Moslem
who believes that the soul goes straight to God and not return to earth
for “visits”, I then told him there are “millions of people” who experience
ADCs, hundreds of books written on them, and what he experienced was quite
“normal”. Some U.S. researchers, I told him from their opinions, estimate
that some 50% of the American population believe in ADCs (from departed
children, spouses, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends even acquaintances
who ask that their message be passed on to their loved ones. Iam quoting
the American experience because these folks seem to seek answers like these
and, besides, it’s now an effort to read books and other literature in
the other languages that I used to speak). But most of them do not tell
outsiders about it for fear of being accused of having an overactive imagination
or even being ridiculed.
He then recounted he read something about NDEs
and ADCs and was wondering about it. “Did you believe that it was Cyrus
hugging you?” I asked. “Yes, it was him,” he said definitely. “Then
you experienced his communications.” I added: “And don’t let anyone tell
you otherwise because they have not experienced what you felt.”
A “belief”, the kind that one’s childhood experiences
and one’s environment experience through education and through reading
of the Holy Books, is precisely that: a belief.
This belief is there because it has been indoctrinated
to us by our environment, by our parents, by our teachers and our peers.
Like I said at the above introduction, it is “by reading” (the different
Holy Books, for example) about something that one develops a specific belief
mind-set. For example, a typical Moslem belief mind-set is that the spirit
leave this world when one passes away and do not come for “visits”. Those
that convey messages are “genies” (jins in the Koran), or
even the “devil”.
But when one is in pain, and there is enough anguish
that it can literally kill you, it does not matter whether a genie
made Cyrus smile 18 hours after his death, or that it was a genie (or even
the devil) that conveyed the message that Yayu took my watches and ring.
Besides, why should it not be that Cyrus
himself made his own remains smile? Why should it not be that Cyrus himself
who conveyed the message that Yayu stole this and that? Why not? Isn’t
his spirit “more perfect” and more Holy than the genie’s and even the angels
or devil because he is after-all God’s child as stated in the different
Holy Books? While the genie, the angel and the devil are only, after-all,
God’s “helper” as stated in these Books?
So because we are God’s children, I do not hold
to the premise that when an ADC is conveyed to us allegedly from Cyrus
that it is the work of the devil or some genie. He is God’s child, and
therefore has more heavenly and holistic qualities than the so-called genie
or devil, or even angel.
Besides, if the human spirit–God’s child–was not
worthy enough to have, the devil would not persistently go after it and
try to keep him. One does not dominate something which is less than oneself.
(9) Because of Cyrus’ memories in our home which
continued to hurt his Mother, we all agreed that she should go away for
awhile to Tehran. I had to stay in Jakarta for some unfinished affairs.
On her way halfway to Dubai which is in one of the stopovers and to visit
Mami,
one of her younger brothers, she suddenly had a very strong feeling of
Cyrus’ presence right next to her in the plane where the only other passenger
was sitting. As soon as she felt him, she thought (talked) to him, “I
miss you darling...” and he replied
“I also miss you very much Mom.”
but by using the Javanese word “kangen” (I miss you). While Minou
knows that Javanese word “kangen”, it is not part of her daily vocabulary
because she always spoke English to him, and maybe once in awhile in Indonesian
(the Javanese and Indonesian languages are as different as French and Italian).
Certainly not in Javanese. It was the first time, and the
only word he thought to her, that was in Javanese. Naturally, she
started crying silent tears again feeling her son close to her.
(10) One early Thursday morning about 2 o’clock
in Tehran, Cyrus’ grand mom Iran Malek got up, went to a table with Cyrus’
photo in her hallway, paused and started saying prayers for him. (Thursday
was the day of the week of his passing away, and in the Moslem religion
all
Thursdays
is an auspicious day). Then as she finished she glanced into a room near
that table and she saw Cyrus lying on the bed that he slept in when he
was there two years ago. She was surprised to see him there. When he saw
her come in, he sat up and Grand Mom asked him, “Cyrus, you are here?”
“Yes Mother I came to visit you.” (Her
children, and grandchildren, both address her as “mother”).
“You are speaking Persian to me,” she
asked surprised.
And he replies: “Of course I speak Persian
Mother. I always understood Persian.”
“But you never spoke Persian to me before.”
“I know, but I could understand everything
you and Mummy talked about. But I just didn’t let on.”
Then she woke up. Grand Mom said, “My God,” she
said to Minou later on, “I thought he was really here. It was so
real,” she said. Cyrus’ communications with his Grand Mom must have
been like when he shook me awake to tell me that Yayu took my watches and
my ring. It was very real to me, and it must have been very real
to his Grand Mom.
And now as a spiritual being, he can understand
all
languages.
| Whenever
you think of your departed, he/she is there with you |
The spiritual
medium of communications is thought. A prayer is also thought. Because
thought is intangible it does not mean it does not moves things. Like thinking
of a breakfast of toast and jam, and then finally eating it. It all comes
from thought.
Thought is
mental telepathy among people who have been living together for a long
time, like Minou and I have lived together for 35 years. Even among friends
when we think about them, then the phone rings and there they are on the
other side of the line. We humans in this earthly dimension therefore can
penetrate this dense material dimension through an intangible medium
of communications and experience this mental communications many times.
One can be sure therefore that if one can “communicate” with an earthly
being, you can be sure you can communicate with the spiritual being through
this intangible form of communications.
Whenever you
think about your departed loved ones, you can be absolutely sure this loved
one is right there listening to you. Indeed, there is no telephone ringing
and and no auditory signal that tell you that your departed one is on the
other side of the line. But if you had this experience of thinking about
someone and this someone either knocks on your front door, sends a fax,
or a letter, or gets a message to you through some other means, you have
that mental communications capability. It is an inherent ability
of the human spirit in which we are out of practice. It is not a
gift.
Because physical
distance (as well as physical sickness) is strictly an earthly phenomena
and non existent in the spiritual realm, the departed one can arrive in
a flash. Tell them what you want them to know, although I believe they
already know what you want to say anyway. And ... whatever thought comes
into your mind that you think comes from them, it is very likely
it is the the thought that this departed one is conveying to you.
Believe it.
One thing I
noticed in reading about the stories of spiritual communications, spirits
have a hard time penetrating our closed minds–and sometimes get very
frustrated in communicating with their loved ones–either because we
do not believe in mental communications, or because we think this is ridiculous.
This spiritual frustration has been recounted in so many readings
by these spirits.
A spirit sees
you as an energy form, and around this form is an aura, according to medium
James
van Praagh. Inside this aura
it also sees our physical body and also sees us in other levels which include
our thoughts, words, deeds, feelings and health issues. The conclusions
therefore are: the spirit can hear us, but we cannot hear them,
unless we go through an experienced medium sensitive to the other dimension
who passes their messages to us. However, we can teach ourselves to hear
them if we take the time to learn.
But for the
person whose mind is “closed” it is ridiculous. But then that’s why his
mind is closed, until a painful event hits him like a baseball bat bashes
his head, then this pain will make him sit up ... like we are now asking
ourselves WHY were we hit us with this bat? But when one’s mind is open,
it is enlightening because knowledge and awareness flow in. And one can
learn to open one’s mind either by meditation, by taking deep breathes,
and by letting go of what is in one’s mind, and relaxing. Remember, it
is dependent on one’s experience base: if one visualizes but has
never touched a burning candle (because everybody says it hurts), one will
never know that it hurts until one is burnt by that candle!
| Visualizing
Cyrus’ Spirit leaving his body? |
Can we, as his parents who love and miss him,
visualize how his Spirit left his body? While writing this passage of this
web page, and wondering how our Cyrus left his body, my reply came
as a visualization of his spirit leaving through the top of his head.
He was surprised and kind of expected and accepted his passing
away, my head tells me. He hovered over the ceiling for just a few
moments and then stood by next to his Mom while watching me, the doctor
and nurses work over him.
Was this – while writing out this web page – my
imagination? Perhaps. Was this an ADC? I do not know. But
I do know it’s a true ADC when the information conveyed to
me is beyond our known experience base. But this new visualization could
be considered as a kind of ADC because I never thought of a soul
leaving its body through its head. Perhaps an experienced reader reading
this page could confirm or correct me by emailing
me if this is how a spirit leaves its remains?
The thought about joining Cyrus “
... much sooner than you think” as recounted by Cyrus’ guardian was
a complete surprise and, frankly, something which Cyrus’ mother welcomed
when she broached the idea of committing suicide when she said, “Let’s
kill ourselves.”. I looked at her, saw the pain on her face, and thought
about the 35 years we were together through thick and thin, then said to
her: “I am open to the idea honey. But ... how about Laila, Arto ...
and the 3 grandchildren? What would their parents say to their children
when they ask ‘Where is Mummy and Daddy?
(referring to us)’ I know
our older children can take care of themselves. They don’t need us anymore.
But the grandchildren all know you ... especially Rimba and Sam? And throwing
our lives back into God’s face? If it wasn’t for all these consequences,
okay, let’s do it. I am all for it.” But ofcourse, we hadn’t
done it because thank goodness common sense, and our awareness that we
still have to complete whatever it is that we have to complete, have prevailed.
Later
on when I told our daughter Laila what her Mom had considered, she had
tears in her eyes and told me, “We would be very upset Daddy, and very
angry.” (Laila, right photo).
I also have a feeling Cyrus would be terribly
unhappy, too, if we did it. And the point of all this is not to
make anyone unhappy on purpose.
Your Mother and I love You Cyrus, my Son. Your
siblings love you very much. And we all miss you very much. We send prayers
to you Son because we know now that as a Spiritual Being in the
Other Dimension, prayers and love are what souls need to
live happily. And we want you to live happily ... and we wait for the day
when your Mom and your Dad will join you there.
Kisah
kehidupannya
Anak
bungsu
Raden
Cyrus Agung, bagi keluarganya, dan teman teman yang ditinggalkan ...
yang telah pulang kepada Tuhan pada tanggal 28th.
January, 1999 pada usia 25 tahun. Bermacam
macam kisah yang kita alami dengannya setelah ia pergi yang meyakini kita
akan bertemu lagi.
As
young parents – literally just kids – who started in our early 20s
and had daughter 
A
La Carte - the Menu
