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First son and Minou and Adji's second baby ...well, a big baby at 34. All Parents tend to think of their grown-up children as babies which they can't help because from helpless 3.5 kilo (7.7pounds) little things to 170 pound, 185cm (6 feet) grownups, parents were there. September 29th. is his birthday. His Dad was only 24 when he was a secret field operative (that's the kind of people who made trouble for the communists dramatized in James Bond movies, but do exist in real life), making Daddy a baby operative (in Grandma's eyes). With Arto's Mom going to a theater in Broadway, New York, to see the Titanic August 1998. (Right foto 1966 in Germany as a baby) Arto takes after his Granddad, Raden Mas Suyoto Suryo-di-Puro, who was one of the founders of the Indonesian Foreign Ministry (that's the State Department for Americans) in September 1945. Arto had a secret wish to become a
fighter pilot, had Jane's books and posters on planes, war ships, etc.He
was very combative at school, once took on five 12th. graders kids while
he was a 9th. grader. Like his Dad, he's no chicken. They beat the daylights
out of him and was unconscious for nearly 2 days. At every opportunity
he would pick a fight if things didn't please him and didn't give a hoot
who his opponents were. Once when he went to school as a 12th. grader in
Jember, east Java, the local kids thought this big town Jakarta kid was
too stuck up for his own good (didn't pay the necessary 'respect' accorded
to them), so 7 senior hi-school kids ganged up on him and knocked 3 of
his front teeth out in the first week of school. He calls home for some
money to fix his teeth, and Moms being what they are, asked all sorts of
questions. After she finished talking Dad took the phone and asked him,
"And what are you going to do about it?"
"How did you do it?" Dad asks. "I went to each one of their homes, talked them out of any hostility, and now they look up to me as their good friend that they respect." (Now, that's his version as he is now a diplomat. Diplomats don't go around brawling. But his Dad knows very well, that boys who gang up on one person are not the type to be talked out of anything. And certainly are not going to "respect" anything unless they are talked to in their language. And knowing from his previous history (since he was born, in fact) – and seeing – how he would seek any reason to pick a fight, the story was one by one he beat the hell out of them when he went to each of their homes). But for this lifetime, he has to learn to cool it and hence, he is now a diplomat. Better for his parents and his family, too. None of this thing like Great, great, great, great grand dad King Samber Nyowo's kill-the-enemy "life taker" reputation, Grand Dad's national freedom clandestine radio operations when he was once nearly shot as a "spy" by the Japanese, and his Dad's anti-communists missions. He is now a more sedate political officer at the Permanent Mission of Indonesia to the United Nations, New York. He also participated during Indonesia's chairmanship in 1998 of the Group of 77, the 133-nation grouping of the developing world, including on occasions as its spokesman. (Right photo, top, Arto's wife Dewi, their sons--Minou & Adji's grandsons -- Rimba & Sam, short for Samudra or 'ocean', Arto's office Sep. '98). His Dad, Adji, is hardly briefed on what he does and finds out about these things from the internet. After that a U.N. diplomat in New York who works closely with Arto told his Mom when visiting New York in 1998, "Didn't you know he's pretty famous? He's our chairman!" Arto is a good representative and diplomat for the Indonesian people (of whom 75% are under the age of 30 years totalling about 165 million people out of a total of 220 million population,the Statistic Agency stated in various 1997 & 1999 press reports), as elders and contemporaries commented to his parents. He speaks perfect English, his name is well known among the English-speaking readers of English publications because he frequently publishes articles in the English and Indonesian press, and besides looking good as a potential future Foreign Minister, as Grand Mom Iran Malek Mahdavi Mousheri in Tehran commented, he is a nationalist -- which, in the mind of his Grand Dad and his old man, that's what it is all about when one is a diplomat. He's also working on his post graduate degree after office hours, majoring in East Asian Studies in St. John's University, just like his Grand Mom, Raden Ayu Ambariah Arismundar, did as a diplomat's wife in Ottawa, Canada in the 1955s. Prior to that he was at Indonesia's Foreign Ministry and assigned to the Office of the Non-Aligned Movement (N.A.M.) under Ambassador-at-Large, Mr. Nana Sutresna (left foto at the Foreign Office in Jakarta), who took Arto on international assignments. N.A.M. member nations now total 113. Grand Dad, who passed away October 1991, would have been pleased to know his grandson joined the foreign service, and very pleased Grand Dad's former junior colleagues (who are now the big wigs at the Foreign Ministry) took his grandson in as one of their own. “Did
you know that Indonesia ...”
Click on the sunset photo
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“
..I hope you continue your road map.. ” www.iGrandparents.com
– the web's largest site on grandparenting:
“I looked at your
site (it was excellent) ... I hope you continue to design your great
site and continue your road map!*
Have a good day.” ... Bryan Butakis www.iGrandparents.com•
*Road map is a reference on real-life experience,
the "how-to" of handling the devastation
and bereavement of losing one's child, and the psychic
and physical “After Death Communications”
found in several webpages at the www.suryo.net
site map.
“ ..success stories!” Living in Indonesia - A site for expats – one of the largest web sites for Expats living in the vast and sprawling Indonesian nation, the world's 4th. largest populated nation.. click here for more info. It's great to have real life examples of all the things we're talking about ... Especially the ‘success stories’ of the kids** of these (mixed) marriages ...Your sites are very interesting and offer valuable insight to many ... good luck with them all!! ... All the best” ... Danielle Sukarty, Organizing Committee, Living in Indonesia - A site for expats • **Laila 35 years the smart Environment & City Planning Engineer & **Arto 34 years, the Diplomat |
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“
..Everything I wish I could articulate myself.. ”
I visited (this) webpage and found it to be everything I wish I could articulate
myself ... although I know what a heart wrenching task it must have been
to put it in words, I am grateful to you for what you have done ... ” Teresa,
Arkansas, U.S.A. (a bereaved parent who commemorates her daughter's passing
away by inviting other bereaved parents to
commemorate their loved one on her website)
“I've found a shelter in a storm.. ” How amazingly wonderful your site is! My son Karl died on 2/21/01. He was 18. I miss him IMMENSELY! Hugs to you and your beautiful wife. Thank you so much for sharing your hearts. I especially Love seeing photo's of your beautiful son Cyrus. I'm saving your web pages and plan to read EVERY word... It's so wonderful you have such an important and extensive site for human beings in such pain and need. Know that today, thank's be to God and You, I've found a shelter in a storm. GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR WIFE AND DEAR CYRUS!!!” Colleen McCurdy, 25 Mar. ’01 | What other folks had to say... | The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents–from the bereaved's perspectives|| After-Death Communications is Real – The Miracle of the Fan | “Our Son in the other dimension” |
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“ ..it brought tears in my eyes.. ” I am so sorry about the loss of your son Cyrus. I have read the story that you wrote in the page. I cannot imagine the trauma that you and your wife had to go thru, it brought tears in my eyes at the middle of the story what you must have gone thru. How sad it must had been. We too had our sorrows and had to go thru the valley of the unknown hurts of life... Gustaaf Vogelsang 8 August, 2001 |
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“
..losing a child is far more devastating.. ” Losing
an offspring like our 25 year old, Cyrus, is a devastation NO parent will
ever know, unless ONE EXPERIENCES it. It is far more devastating than losing
one's own parents and brothers and sisters – which
we had experienced and had gone through several times. More so when
this child was a living
doll, then no longer a child, became an adult and then a friend, a trusted
buddy who can instead give advice, and whom we can share experiences with
. On Jan. 28, 1999 when he
passed away, and 2½ years later on Aug. 7th. 2001, our voices still
break up and tears welled up in his mother's eyes , when a friend who
did not know Cyrus was no longer with us, asked “...and how is Cyrus..?”
||
The
Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives
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space
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suryo@suryo.net |
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•Raden Roro Laila - The Smart Woman Environment Engineer •Raden Arto, Javanese prince The Diplomat...& his family •Raden Cyrus Agung ... 9 Nov. 1973–28 Jan. 1999* & remembering his favorite kind of music – An Eulogy to a departed Son – In Bahasa Indonesia – A poem: God said: "I'll lend you my Child..." – A friend Asks: Tell me about Cyrus? – Friends say: My Heart Breaks for you – In memory of Cyrus' 1st. Anniversary in the Other Dimension Music Page–28 January, 2000 – The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives – Published Reference List on the After-Life, Near Death Experiences & After-Death Communications – What Do the Other Dimensions & “After Death Communications” Convey? – After-Death Communications is Real - The Miracle of the Fan 26 Aug., 1999 - continued ... ... The One-Legged Grasshopper • The Air Conditioning System • The Exploding Light Bulb – A Prayer for our Son & all other departed children
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The
beige background of the menu on the left comes from the "batik" motif or
"bahan titik", an acronym which means material made from dots, the
process of making handmade batik cloth.
Cyrus'
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MIDI, or musical instrument digital interface, is a standard used by sound-card makers and musical instrument manufacturers to let various electronic instruments and sound processors talk to each other. Because MIDI sound samples and synthesis algorithms are stored on the local system (either in your sound card, the PC's processor, or in an external MIDI module), all that needs to be sent over the wire is a series of signals that say what note to play when. For that reason, extremely small MIDI files (less than 5K) can still deliver several minutes of music. A 3 minute MP3 sound carries a size of some 2.7 MB, while the equivalent 3 minute MIDI file is about 1/100 its size (27K). MIDI notes and sound effects are usually limited to the sounds in the standard General MIDI set. General MIDI is a fairly extensive set, including drums, woodwinds, strings, and some sound effects, but it's not the same as recording your own sounds or your voice which you can with MP3. Also, MIDI quality depends almost exclusively on the sound system used for playback. A PC with an el cheapo sound card using weak FM synthesis technology could make even a brilliant MIDI arrangement sound like a $15 electronic keyboard, whereas an expensive wavetable synthesis sound system could produce awe-inspiring MIDI tones. For quicker down loading, MIDI files are used here. |
¹MIDI music from Bourbon Street & ²From MidiWorld • ³Sequenced (played & arranged) by Devian, a 30-year Indonesian graduate from the Berkely School of Music & used with permission • º Sequenced by Jan Halsema & used with permission • *Wherever possible and available permission was requested from their composers • **Used with permission • All music tracks are available for non-commercial use |