Thursday, 28th. of January, 1999 ... and laid to rest at Taman Makam Jeruk Purut, Kav 28 Blok II, Kemang, Jakarta, on Friday, 29th. January, 2 months and 19 days after his 25th. birthday. This page was added on 11 February, 1999. Updated 12 April 1999. Last update 28 January 2000. |
My eulogy
to my departed Son, Cyrus,
I
hope this grief will help other young parents, and especially parents who
have children, young adults like Cyrus, to realize that their child's existence
is a gift which they should not take for granted, and which they should
take good care of.
All the material wealth, worldly achievements, praise of one's contemporaries, diminish ... mean nothing, and become nothing ... in the face of such a tragedy. The death of a child is very private because it is the private pain of a family. More so because he was a young adult of 25, this family's youngest child, whose full potential was never realized. |
More important, they can perhaps learn from this sadness and to take care of their child, and God forbid, not to ever one day to ever go through this pain, like we are going through this pain.
Please click the underlined below to go to the page An
Eulogy to a Departed Son, Cyrus ...
The Miracle at Cyrus' Deathbed... A Letter from John..Tell me About Cyrus..What ailed him... He Was Ill & Asked For His Parents’ Forgiveness... The Hour He Passed Away ... We are Grateful that we were at Cyrus’ Bedside... |
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and updated again on the 1st. anniversary of his passing on January 28th. 2000. What we learnt after 1 year of his passing away? Please click here |
The Baby of the Family
The baby of the Suryo-di-Puro family is literally the baby of the family, and his 25th. is on November 9th. 1999. We timed his birthday to exactly the same date as Laila's his older sister by 8 years, November 9th. First, by taking a calculator and calculating the dozens of different variable factors like position of the sun, moon and venus, the weather, the parents' blood pressure, etc. to arrive precisely on the desired date of birth (just kidding). (At the age of 8 at a wedding as a groom's valet; right eating Mom's chocolate cake).But a doctor here in 1972 advised them how to choose a male or female by date of ovulation by using a thermometer, and other things, and he was the result. First, advises the doctor, the male sperm cell moves much faster than the female, leaving the female behind. But the female's lifetime is twice as long, e.g. 24 hours, while the male's is 12 hours. Second, when the female body ovulates and is ready to receive the sperm, her body temperature rises by one or 1½ degrees centigrade (we use the C° here). This usually last 3 to 5 days, depending on the woman. Third, take her temperature regularly in the morning and in the evening for a minimum of two months, so one has an idea of her temperature graph, the days she ovulates. Make this graph 3 to 4 months if the woman's period is irregular. Fourth, the male has to be healthy (the woman, too, obviously) and is advised to strengthen his health with vitamin supplements on the 3rd. month of MB (Make Baby) Day. On MB Day, if you choose a female baby, choose one day before the egg is ready which is determined by the woman's temperature graph. This way when the sperms travel, the males will reach the unfertile egg first, will die off, and the female sperms which are travelling slower, will reach the egg which then has become fertile for the female sperm to fertilize. For a male baby, MB Day is the first day of ovulation. That's how we got Cyrus!
Everybody in the family claims he is spoiled, except his Mom who says that is not so.
Cyrus is a book worm, reads anything and everything from comics to literature, most days until 2 a.m., gets up at 8:30 and at his appointments by 9:30.
His Music
Cyrus plays the guitar and drums and plays along with cassettes or CDs if no one is there to play with him – like his Dad used to play the violin (in Rome 1950-53), accordion (1950-60), and later the electric and acoustic guitar (1964-84) with low and high double strings ala Wes Montgomery & George Benson, like this MP3 music and keyboard (1984-1994) integrated to the hi-fi system playing jazz music after office to get rid-of-the-stress sort of thing nearly every day for years. And the poor house guests (Minou's friends) who were nearly always present had to listen to the racket at night club volumes, couldn't tell who is playing unless a wrong note is hit (but said they enjoyed listening to it). And like his Dad, Cyrus’ favorite music is fusion, jazz, pop, and some mood music whenever reading. Click this line to listen to the kind of music we used to play (in MIDI format), Passport, or ³**Moorea,¹Days of Wine & Roses, ¹**ºAfter Midnight, ¹Night Funk, ¹Falling In Love, ¹A Funking, ¹Girl From Ipanema, ¹Fuzion Jazz, ¹Misty, ¹Orpheus Samba, ¹Satin Doll, ¹Ain't Misbehaving, ¹Desafinado, Aquas, Spain, Springtime, Call Me, Blue Moon, Birdman, Mood, Jazz 1, Jazz 2, Meditation, Short & Sweet, Light Samba, The 2 Blues, Over the Rainbow, Hey, Ouis !, You Do Something..., ³**EG Blues Fusion, ³**All Blues, ³**Sinaran,¹MIDI music from Bourbon Street & ²From MidiWorld • ³Sequenced (played & arranged) by Devian, a 30-year Indonesian graduate from the Berkely School of Music & used with permission • º Sequenced by Jan Halsema & used with permission • *Wherever possible and available permission was requested from their composers • **Used with permission • All music tracks are available for non-commercial use•
Click here for an explanation of MIDI versus MP3 music files & Why for faster loading MIDI music is preferred • Sample string & acoustic guitar MP3 Music - As Time Goes ByA Skilled Big Bike Rider
He's also a good big bike rider. He rides his Dad's Kawasaki Ninja ZX-11 (called ZZR-11 in Indonesia and in Europe--the Ferrari and Lamborghini of super sports bikes). That's a 1,100 c.c. blue lightning 2-wheeled, 250 kilo (551 pound) 147 h.p. macho monster, claimed by U.S. big bike magazines to be "the King" on straight out speed and acceleration with an unmodified top speed of 200 mph (320 kph), the fastest object with an engine straight out the factory, faster on acceleration than the fastest Ferrari, the Lamborghini and the F-16 jet fighter with a speed tests of 160 kilometers (100 mph) in some 6 seconds and an unmodified out-of-the-factory top speed of 200 mph (320 kph) – according to these magazines! These big bikes horsepower are downgraded to a maximum 100 HP in Europe, so the European ZZRs are vastly different than U.S. and Asian specs. (Left foto holiday in Tehran with Mom, 1997, smoking one of those 'things' which everybody who smoke seem to smoke).
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One day, his Dad notices deep scratch marks on both left and right mufflers on his brand new Ninja ZX-11, parts of them beginning to rust, and asks Cyrus, what happened to the mufflers (there were no scrape or scratch marks on the body, so the bike did not fall), and Cyrus said, "Oh, that! Each time I corner, the mufflers scrapes the pavement."
But that means you're practically lying down the bike on its sides," his Dad says.
"I guess so," he replied. "So-and-so (a friend of his whose dad owns a big bike sales & service station) who rode with me a few times will vouch for the scratches," he said."Just watch out and don't have any accidents!" his Dad says, visualizing his son riding the 1,100 bike like the 500 c.c. world championship bikes with knees and elbows leaning so far that they scrape the pavement. But later his own Dad was guilty of sometimes scraping the Ninja ZX-11 and BMW cruiser's mufflers on trips to Puntjak, that's 1,500 meter (5,000 feet) high mountain resort some 75 kms from Jakarta. For some reason, it's okay for dads to 'take risks'; but not okay at all for his kids to do the same. Strange ... considering that 50 year old-plus dads' bones take a whole lot longer to heal if they have an accident.
(Right foto, at the neighbourhood bakers in Tehran on a holiday with Mom 1997 where they make the greatest bread by placing the dough on pebbles in a brick oven. The family's favorite early morning bread, some pebbles and all. And when Mom brought some in for Dad from Tehran, Dad asks, "Where are the pebbles?" And says, "If there are no pebbles in the bread, it's not the real thing!").Cyrus had a very bad motor cycle accident, though. This guy who was trained in one of California's racing bike schools found it hard to believe Cyrus had an accident as he recounted his experience with Cyrus who saw for himself Cyrus' skill in handling the big 147 horsepower Ninja ZX-11.
One day on a 3-day trip to the coastal resort and harbour town of Cilacap in central Java 600 km from Jakarta with a bunch of other 50 big bike riders, (with Cyrus' Dad on his BMW 1100 c.c. cruiser, big brother Arto on his Honda 1,000 c.c. CBR), this super bike racer using a 1,100 c.c. Suzuki recalled, "We were going through these great, really smooth winding mountain roads with pine trees just like Switzerland during the summer," he said retelling the story to a bunch of big bikers who missed the tour but go on big bike tours to Malaysia, Australia, Europe and the U.S., "when I noticed this Ninja following me real close. I thought to myself, 'who does he think he is following me so close. I'll outdistance him!' But no, the faster I went, the closer this guy came sitting on my tail, until in one curve ke kissed my rear wheels because the curves were so tight, and instead of backing off, he leaned even closer to the ground, scrapped his sides, and this son of a gun outmaneuvered and passed me in this tight curve. Imagine that. Me, a trained racer and this guy beats me! As he passed, I noticed, hey, that's Mas (older 'brother') Adji's Kawasaki with that phone antenna sticking out (there were 3 other same-colored ZX-11 Ninjas on that 50-bike trip minus phone antennas, and it's difficult to tell who is on what bike because of full faced helmets), but that's not his body profile. Must be Cyrus," he said quite impressed. "I cannot imagine him having that accident. It's not like him. Must be sheer bad luck," he said, when someone told him of Cyrus' bad accident which broke his left knee cap and left leg in three places. (Left foto, Cyrus on the blue Ninja ZX-11, brother Arto in white helmet on his Honda CBR 1000 waiting in line for gas with other riders).
The accident took place when from a standstill, he started andwas about to change to 2nd. gear accelerating from a traffic light, when a 3-wheeled 2-passenger taxi motorized tricycle in the far left lane (Indonesia is right hand drive) suddenly turned right and cut across two lanes and across the bike's path. The bike (Right photo courtesy of Cycle World) as it started, rammed the tricycle, broke it into two because of the powerful inertia the Ninja carried. The Ninja bounced off the tricycle, flew upwards to a 2 meter brick wall house fence, bounced off and fell on Cyrus' leg ... all within a space of 10-15 meters (32-50 feet).
At that time the bike had the power to hurtle its 500-plus pound mass at 160 kmh in 6 seconds, so imagine the power that hit and broke the tricycle in two. His head would have been injured if it was not protected by a Shoei Japanese helmet, the kind world champions Wayne Rayne and Micheal Doohan wear (actually Doohan wears the Japanese Arai helmet), which was nearly crushed. It was not a fast, careless or hi-way speeding accident -- just a lesson of "Watch Out for the Other Driver". It would have not been such a bad accident in such a short space if it was any other bike, and if it didn't have that powerful inertia.
He even nearly lost his leg from gangrene so his Mom had to take him abroad for medication. From that day onwards, Mom did not allow any three of the male Suryo-di-Puros big bikes in (or near) the house! Except for the marks on his leg, Cyrus walks o.k. without a limp (thank God).
Jakarta, Indonesia...world's 5th. largest city in the world's 4th. largest nation where Cyrus was born ... where is it? Never heard of it? Please click here
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“
..I hope you continue your road map.. ” www.iGrandparents.com
– the web's largest site on grandparenting:
“I looked at your
site (it was excellent) ... I hope you continue to design your great
site and continue your road map!*
Have a good day.” ... Bryan Butakis www.iGrandparents.com•
*Road map is a reference on real-life experience,
the "how-to" of handling the devastation
and bereavement of losing one's child, and the psychic
and physical “After Death Communications”
found in several webpages at the www.suryo.net
site map.
“ ..success stories!” Living in Indonesia - A site for expats – one of the largest web sites for Expats living in the vast and sprawling Indonesian nation, the world's 4th. largest populated nation.. click here for more info. It's great to have real life examples of all the things we're talking about ... Especially the ‘success stories’ of the kids** of these (mixed) marriages ...Your sites are very interesting and offer valuable insight to many ... good luck with them all!! ... All the best” ... Danielle Sukarty, Organizing Committee, Living in Indonesia - A site for expats • **Laila 35 years the smart Environment & City Planning Engineer & **Arto 34 years, the Diplomat |
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“
..Everything I wish I could articulate myself.. ”
I visited (this) webpage and found it to be everything I wish I could articulate
myself ... although I know what a heart wrenching task it must have been
to put it in words, I am grateful to you for what you have done ... ” Teresa,
Arkansas, U.S.A. (a bereaved parent who commemorates her daughter's passing
away by inviting other bereaved parents to
commemorate their loved one on her website)
“I've found a shelter in a storm.. ” How amazingly wonderful your site is! My son Karl died on 2/21/01. He was 18. I miss him IMMENSELY! Hugs to you and your beautiful wife. Thank you so much for sharing your hearts. I especially Love seeing photo's of your beautiful son Cyrus. I'm saving your web pages and plan to read EVERY word... It's so wonderful you have such an important and extensive site for human beings in such pain and need. Know that today, thank's be to God and You, I've found a shelter in a storm. GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR WIFE AND DEAR CYRUS!!!” Colleen McCurdy, 25 Mar. ’01 | What other folks had to say... | The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents–from the bereaved's perspectives|| After-Death Communications is Real – The Miracle of the Fan | “Our Son in the other dimension” |
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“ ..it brought tears in my eyes.. ” I am so sorry about the loss of your son Cyrus. I have read the story that you wrote in the page. I cannot imagine the trauma that you and your wife had to go thru, it brought tears in my eyes at the middle of the story what you must have gone thru. How sad it must had been. We too had our sorrows and had to go thru the valley of the unknown hurts of life... Gustaaf Vogelsang 8 August, 2001 |
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“
..losing a child is far more devastating.. ” Losing
an offspring like our 25 year old, Cyrus, is a devastation NO parent will
ever know, unless ONE EXPERIENCES it. It is far more devastating than losing
one's own parents and brothers and sisters – which
we had experienced and had gone through several times. More so when
this child was a living
doll, then no longer a child, became an adult and then a friend, a trusted
buddy who can instead give advice, and whom we can share experiences with
. On Jan. 28, 1999 when he
passed away, and 2½ years later on Aug. 7th. 2001, our voices still
break up and tears welled up in his mother's eyes , when a friend who
did not know Cyrus was no longer with us, asked “...and how is Cyrus..?”
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The
Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives
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•Raden Roro Laila - The Smart Woman Environment Engineer •Raden Arto, Javanese prince The Diplomat...& his family •Raden Cyrus Agung ... 9 Nov. 1973–28 Jan. 1999* & remembering his favorite kind of music – An Eulogy to a departed Son – In Bahasa Indonesia – A poem: God said: "I'll lend you my Child..." – A friend Asks: Tell me about Cyrus? – Friends say: My Heart Breaks for you – In memory of Cyrus' 1st. Anniversary in the Other Dimension Music Page–28 January, 2000 – The Do's and Don'ts in facing bereaved parents – from the bereaved's perspectives – Published Reference List on the After-Life, Near Death Experiences & After-Death Communications – What Do the Other Dimensions & “After Death Communications” Convey? – After-Death Communications is Real - The Miracle of the Fan 26 Aug., 1999 - continued ... ... The One-Legged Grasshopper • The Air Conditioning System • The Exploding Light Bulb – A Prayer for our Son & all other departed children
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MIDI, or musical instrument digital interface, is a standard used by sound-card makers and musical instrument manufacturers to let various electronic instruments and sound processors talk to each other. Because MIDI sound samples and synthesis algorithms are stored on the local system (either in your sound card, the PC's processor, or in an external MIDI module), all that needs to be sent over the wire is a series of signals that say what note to play when. For that reason, extremely small MIDI files (less than 5K) can still deliver several minutes of music. A 3 minute MP3 sound carries a size of some 2.7 MB, while the equivalent 3 minute MIDI file is about 1/100 its size (27K). MIDI notes and sound effects are usually limited to the sounds in the standard General MIDI set. General MIDI is a fairly extensive set, including drums, woodwinds, strings, and some sound effects, but it's not the same as recording your own sounds or your voice which you can with MP3. Also, MIDI quality depends almost exclusively on the sound system used for playback. A PC with an el cheapo sound card using weak FM synthesis technology could make even a brilliant MIDI arrangement sound like a $15 electronic keyboard, whereas an expensive wavetable synthesis sound system could produce awe-inspiring MIDI tones. For quicker down loading, MIDI files are used here. |
¹MIDI music from Bourbon Street & ²From MidiWorld • ³Sequenced (played & arranged) by Devian, a 30-year Indonesian graduate from the Berkely School of Music & used with permission • º Sequenced by Jan Halsema & used with permission • *Wherever possible and available permission was requested from their composers • **Used with permission • All music tracks are available for non-commercial use |